Kid Gets Rejected By Every Girl For The Prom...Makes Video Asking Kate Upton To Kill Him

Hilarious. Lets just skip all the prom stuff and cut right to the assisted suicide because thats how you really make a name for yourself. Any chump can go to prom with Kate Upton. Make a stupid sappy video and she has to agree to it because of public pressure. She shows up and takes some pictures. You walk into the dance with her on your arm. Maybe a couple dances with you and then she leaves and you got nothing to show for it. Now like Kate Upton is gonna sneak nips in her bra and pop some ecstasy and fuck you in the limo or anything. You’ll just end up another chump with his dick in his hand, forgotten by the time the sun comes up at Seaside Heights or whatever other trash beach your friends decided to go to for After Prom.

But if you were dead…if Kate Upton killed you, well now you’re talking about immortality. You’ll forever be that guy. “Remember James? Class of 2015. Kate Upton murdered him. Slit his throat with some jagged glass.” That sort of reputation lives on forever. Turn this kid into a high school legend, Kate. Give him the release he needs. He’s never getting laid. He’s been reduced to being the kid who has to do celebrity promposals. Just put him out of his misery and let him die a legend.

#SayYesKate.