The Phillies Lineup Is Getting Sadder By The Second

Hey, at least Jeff Franceour is still holding down the clean-up spot. Hope for the future, ammiright? Maybe we should give Hard Hittin’ Mark Whitten a ring to see if he’s able to smash, too. Seriously just call up the entire AA team from Reading to see if we got anything cooking in the minors. I know this is getting repetitive but Christ Almighty, this team really might be the worst squad ever assembled. Even the best players are performing like rabid dick. Remember when Chase Utley had that 2 homerun, 3 hit masterpiece against the Mets? Yeah, well, those were 3 of his 6 hits on the season as Chaser’s batting a putrid .109. I hate this team.

If you’re playing DraftKings today and want to win guaranteed money just play whoever is throwing against these Little Sister’s Of The Poor. I CAN’T WAIT for the days when someone tosses out a Caesar Hernandez reference once a decade and I go “Oh, yeah, he sucked royal taint” like I do now with Wendell McGee, Jr. Look at this lineup. LOOK AT IT. Dustin McGowen. Cameron Rupp. Andrés freaking Blanco at shortstop? Roll the fucking tape: