Lingerie Football League Player Wins Game MVP And Promptly Crushes A Beer At Midfield

Hey Ali, um…marry me? We can gameplan all day, makeout all night then booze with the best of them, and I never lose chug offs. The ultimate power couple. Actually, hold that thought. I’m OK being with an attractive woman that can kick my dick in whenever she pleases, but I can’t be with someone who is a better football player than I ever was. I’d automatically never have any say in the relationship because she’s in the “pro’s” and I drowned in the depths of D-III mediocrity. Gotta have hand.

Good thing she’s not on Seattle HC Chris Michaelson’s watch. You can’t get drunk while being both stupid and retarded on his gridiron.