Man Who Lost His Penis Has a New One Growing on His Arm

Source - A British man whose penis fell off due to a severe blood infection had a new one built – on his arm, where he even got an extra 2 inches, according to a report.

Malcolm MacDonald, 45, a mechanic, suffered a horrific infection in his perineum that turned his fingers, toes and manhood black, The Sun reported. ...

“When I saw my penis go black I was beside myself. It was like a horror film. I was in a complete panic. I knew deep down it was gone and I was going to lose it,” he said.

He said he was “completely gutted” when his penis “just dropped off on to the floor” in 2014 – but his testicles remained intact, according to the outlet. ... "I just picked it up and put it in the bin,” MacDonald continued.

“I went to the hospital and they said the best they could do for me was to roll the remaining stump up like a little sausage roll. It was heartbreaking.” ...

But then he found out from his doctor about the so-called “penis master” — Professor David Ralph of London’s University College Hospital. ...

Ralph said he could perform an arm-graft procedure, which would take up to two years. ...

“It was all my Christmases at once. ...As far as I was concerned, they were miracle workers and I was up for anything that could give me my willy back,” MacDonald continued. ...

MacDonald also decided to request an extra two inches on the $65,000 appendage.

Today I saw it reported that Dr. Fauci said he's cautiously optimistic that we can have an effective Covid vaccine by the end of this year. Which, talk about "all my Christmases at once," would be a world-changing miracle. And when I first saw it, I remember thinking that maybe we need all our best medical people working on this one thing, with the exception of the ones that are obviously doing life-saving surgeries and working on cancer treatments or whatever. But that maybe we ought to hit the pause button on things like collagen lips, hair growth tonics, vitamin supplements and spray that makes your poop smell better and get all our scientists working on this one project. 

But if there's one non-Covid, non-life saving medical pursuit I can get behind, it's this. When it comes to growing penises for the penisless among us, we as a society can walk and chew gum at the same time. We should have the resources to both take down this goddamned virus once and for all and grow fully functioning dicks on men's arms. 

I for one marvel at the efforts Professor David Ralph is making to advance this technology. Malcolm MacDonald is right to call the staff at London's UCH "miracle workers," but I'll go one step further. What they're doing is nothing short of magic. They're like the nurse at Hogwarts who replaced the bones in Harry Potter's arm with Skele-Gro. And they're making the world a better place, one inch at a time. 

And while we're talking inches, let's not overlook Mr. MacDonald doing what any man would do, paying out of pocket to have a little extra length added on while they're at it. I mean, who among us wouldn't? The last time I splurged on myself I bought a top of the line gas grill. If I could write a check to have a real pork missile grown on my arm, you can be damned certain I'd keep driving my low rate car and living in my average split level house and put everything I have into that purchase. Hell, I'd be fine if it looks like I've got another arm growing under my sleeve for two years. That's an investment that would pay off every day for the rest of my life. 

Keep doing what you're doing, Prof. Ralph and you'll probably get the Nobel Prize in Medicine over the doctor who cures the 'Rona. You'll certainly lock up the male vote. And a substantial portion of the females as well.