Somebody Made A KFC Double Down Candle In Case You Want Your House To Smell Like Shame And Regret All the Time
IGN- If you want your home to smell like one of the most famous fast food sandwiches around, you’re in luck. Kentucky for Kentucky has revealed its new “Scents of the Commonwealth” candle line, which includes scents like Hot Brown, Mint Julep, and yes, the Double Down — which, if you’ve forgotten, is a bacon and cheese sandwich that replaces bread with fried chicken. Check out the wonderful product description: So you want to feel the presence of a double down sandwich, but it’s mysteriously vanished from the KFC menu again. What a dilemma. Well good news Kentuckians, we’ve turned this elusive unicorn into a candle you can cradle year round. Layered with pure Kentucky goodness, this Double Down candle starts off with a layer of Kathy’s real Fried Chicken candle mixed with bacon pieces, easing into a bacon-scented center, finishing off with another layer of bonafide fried chicken. Let’s leave a candle in the window to show our friend the way home. #NeverForget #BringItBack #WhoNeedsBreadWhenYouHaveChicken. “This creative collaboration sparked some heavenly aromas that will easily sweep you away to an Old Kentucky home away from home,” reads the site. “We feel blessed, y’all.”
Finally! Because if there’s one thing I want people to know about me when they walk into my house it’s that I need the smell of a KFC Double Down around me at all times. I need that feeling of shame and regret to linger in every nook and cranny of my living space. It’s not enough to simply get it at the drive thru at KFC and bring the stench into my house for a few minutes while I eat. No sir. I want it to envelop me like a blanket and never let go. Not to mention nothing gets the ladies hotter than them being like, “Is that the smell of bacon and cheese wedged between two pieces of chicken I smell? Time to fuck.” I’d have to imagine that these bad boys are flying off the shelf as I type this.
PS- By the way, chances are I’d buy this thing as a joke and end up loving it so much that I’d keep it around until it was gone. And for that reason I won’t be buying one. I will not apologize for being fat. It’s part of who I am.