It's Called "Bags"

There's a 1:30 Central Standard viewing today of some NYC employees competing in a game on the new @StoolStreams platform and I want to be clear in this blog that the name of that game is Bags. I don't want to start a holy war or ruin a Monday morning but for the life of me can we can we at least grasp the appropriate nomenclature? 

Cornhole is the Corporate America version of the game. The one your cousin bought at Dicks Sporting Goods for his 2006 Memorial Day cookout at his Elgin townhouse. No disrespect to Elgin or townhouses. The boards slide like crazy because they have that high gloss plastic finish. Made in China fineprinted on the box's undercarriage. That's what I think when you say Cornhole. 

Bags is a neighborhood game. The boards were handcrafted by a local carpenter that sells sets out of his Mt. Greenwood garage. He charges double for Cubs logos. His son helps him with the rotary saw measurements for the cup holder feature in the back. Mom sews the bags together by hand after filling them with authentic red beans. It's an intimate ownership, like your golf clubs or bowling ball. To me that's Bags and that's the traditional form of the game. 

Not here to shit on anyone's memories or nostalgic experience playing Bags under the false pretense that you were actually playing a game called Cornhole. I understand the Big Box retailers of the world want everyone to sing a different tune but I'm here to tell the truth. If you know the difference that I speak of then you know that Bags is actually the real name of the real game we're talking about. And I don't give a fuck what ESPN has to say on the matter so don't you dare go citing their Sunday afternoon programming from this Spring. 

The real authorities have spoken on the matter. Let the voices be heard.