Live EventJon Gruden and Dave Portnoy Join Max and PFT For Eagles-CommandersWatch Now

Dude Caught Having Sex With A Porsche On CCTV Security Footage

I cant blame this guy one bit. The slutty little Porsche was just looking to get fucked. Look at it. Sitting there all white, trying to act like some pure virgin. The convertible top teasing you, knowing at any second you could just pop it right off. He tried to hit in from behind and she said no. Just flirting like a motherfucker. I’m sure all the car feminists will say this was some sort of sexual assault, and I dont wanna be a victim blamer, but bottom line is that Porsche was looking to get it. I wouldnt be ashamed at all if I was this guy.

Only embarrassing thing here is that he only lasted for like 15 seconds. Good luck ever fucking another luxury car, pal. That Porsche is gonna tell all her friends how you’re a premature minute man. Say goodbye to all the Ferraris and Lamborghinis. Shit man, you might not even fuck a Mercedes after that performance. You’re gonna fuck Hyundais and Subarus for the rest of your life after that. Your next girlfriend is gonna be a Mini Van or some fat stumpy Mini Cooper. At least you can go around telling your friends you fucked a perfect 10 once though. That lasts forever, my man.