Well Actually, Cornhole And Bags Are Both Perfectly Acceptable. It All Really Comes Down To Context
The cornhole vs bags debate has turned into bit of a heated subject today on Barstool Sports [dot] Edu. First up we had Carl making the definitive statement that the correct way to refer to the game is by "bags" or else you're just a pretentious rich dickhead.
Then you had Reags immediately come out of the gate with the name calling and saying that Carl is not only wrong, but also an asshole and that the correct way to refer to the game is as "cornhole".
Now do me a favor here and make sure to check out both of those blogs if you haven't already. I love all of my coworkers and I want everybody to get as many pageviews as possible. That's just the kind of guy I am.
But we live in a society these days that is in a constant state of confrontation. Everybody is always so argumentative and as soon as you pick a side in an argument, all you care about is winning the argument and destroying the other team. Nobody ever wants to concede any points to the other side. But that's what I'm here to do today. Because as much as Crazy Carl and Reags want to believe that they're right and everybody who disagrees with them is wrong, it turns out that they're both wrong about being right.
Bags:Hoops::Cornhole:Basketball
If you haven't taken the SAT at all in the past 20 years then maybe there's a chance that I lost you there. But this is the argument that I'm going to make. The game is called basketball, but if you're just fucking around with a few of your friends on a Sunday afternoon and just getting a couple shots in, then you're out there shootin' hoops. It's nothing serious. Nobody is keeping score. It's just for fun because you're bored. Now if you were about to play in an NBA Playoff game? Well you wouldn't call that hoops. Kawhi Leonard wouldn't say "I have a hoops game to play later tomorrow night". Mainly because he's a robot and I don't think that robots understand slang enough to use it. But he would say that he has a basketball game to play tomorrow night.
The same goes for bags and cornhole. Let's say is Saturday around 11am. You've got some people coming over later in the day for a little soiree. A few of your buddies come by a little early. You get those first couple of beers in you, maybe you light up the grill, and to toss some bags to kill time before the day actually gets started. Maybe you're keeping score just because you're too competitive not to, but it's not a serious game. There's nothing on the line here. Everybody is just fucking around, crushing some beers and having a good time. That right there is tossin' bags.
But then it's later in the day. Everybody has shown up and you've got a pretty decent crowd. So you get a little tournament going and now shit is starting to get serious. You can feel the intensity with every shot that drops on the board. This isn't just playing around anymore. And that right there is the key difference between bags and cornhole. One of them is just a fun little way to mess around and kill some time. The other means everything to you. The other is life or death. If you end up losing that game of cornhole, you know that you're going to lose a few hours of sleep at night over all the shots you wish you had back.
So I know that being a middle man isn't always the popular thing to do these days but cornhole and bags are both perfectly acceptable, as long as the context is right.
This. Is. Cornhole.