The Application To Work At Al Qaeda Is A Real Bitch

And people wonder why everyone says the job market is oversaturated. An application to be in Al Qaeda? You need to know my education history, prison time, and whether or not I’m up for suicide? Look, dude, I’m here. That’s all you need to know. Working for Al Qaeda is like being one of those Mexican guys outside Home Depot. If I’m willing to do a shitty job for little pay then who the fuck cares about my qualifications? The fact that you need a fucking degree to get your Jihad on nowadays is absurd. I remember the good ol days when all you needed to do to get a job in Al Qaeda was be willing to blow yourself straight to the virginland heaven. Now it’s all corporate and shit. Now you’ve got to start at the bottom and climb the ladder, run the rat race, work the mail room. Fuck that. If I wanted to deal with Afghani cube life I’d just go be a kite runner or a street charmer, this was my anti-establishment play.