College Seniors, Stressed About What To Do Next? Here's The Al Qaeda Terrorist Job Application

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Recently Declassified Government Documents via Gawker

Listen guys we’ve all been there. College is coming to an end, no job prospects on the horizon, you’re smart and have a diploma but nothing really stands out on your resume. Seems like all your friends landed cushy jobs through their parents or had their summer internships turn into permanent positions. Meanwhile you’re just out here swaying in the breeze. Well see if you have what it takes to become an Al Qaeda terrorist.

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These are my favorite parts –

Contact information, always important. Good to know Al Qaeda HR is on top of their shit, need to know who to get in touch with in the event that your bomb vest accidentally goes off.

As if you needed more of a reason never to go to jail – you literally can’t even become a terrorist suicide bomber with a rap sheet.

Besides being a scumbag freedom hating piece of shit coward…anything else you like to do in your free time? Stamp collecting?