Sometimes You Just Gotta Hit Your Kid In The Head With A Sack Of Potatoes If He Starts Nagging You About What You're Making For Dinner

NYDN - A Florida woman is behind bars after allegedly kicking in a bathroom door and beating a cowering 12-year-old boy with a sack of potatoes. The potato-battered boy told deputies that he was sent scurrying into the bathroom for safety Wednesday night after he asked 46-year-old Rachel Salters about dinner, WESH-TV reported. The question apparently set Salters off, causing her to allegedly kick the locked bathroom door in and hit the child in his head with the bag of spuds — multiple times. When that was through she allegedly began pummeling him with individual potatoes.

Forget the potatoes for a second. First things first- that’s no woman, that’s a man, baby. I have seen many women in my life, usually from afar or the bushes out front, and that is no woman. That is more man than I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure “Rachel Salters” used to play DT for the Bears. I’m almost positive of it. Someone needs to go Austin Powers and start ripping that wig off. I won’t be fooled on this one. That’s a chick with a big ol dick. And throwing the potatoes at the boy because he asked what was for dinner, can’t hate the move. Bitch, you’ll eat whatever is cooked you ungrateful twerp. You want something, use your lemonade stand money and go buy something. Otherwise if it’s a mayonnaise sandwich you’ll eat it and you’ll like it. Otherwise it’s target practice with a bag of spuds courtesy of the manwoman.