82 Year Old Man Caught On Camera Slashing Rival Player's Tires In Parking Lot After Bingo Hall Feud

LAKE WALES (FOX 13) – Police arrested an 82-year-old man for slashing a woman’s tires because he claims she was sitting in his favorite bingo seat.

Fred Smith was charged with criminal mischief to a vehicle when, police say, he took an ice pick to Ethel Britt’s van.

She celebrated her 88th birthday Friday and has since been questioning why Smith targeted her car.

“I didn’t think anyone would be low enough to do that to my car because I didn’t know I had any enemies in my life,” she said. “I thought everybody was my friend, but undoubtedly I have one enemy.”

Police say Smith stormed out of a weekly bingo game at the Lake Ashton Club House and punctured two of Britt’s tires because she was sitting in a chair he usually sits in.

“I didn’t know it meant that much to him to do that to my tires,” Britt continued.

She said she has no hard feelings, but she’s still a bit puzzled.

“I’m not mad, no. I would like to have my tires paid for because that took every dime I had in the bank,” she added.

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Oh my God getting old is honestly the worst thing in the entire world. Seriously somebody please do me the biggest favor ever and sneak up on me and blow my brains out with a shotgun the day I hit like…65. Maybe 70 depending on technological medical advances, I’ll keep you updated. Don’t worry about the legal ramifications, I’ll keep a letter on file with my attorney to be distributed to the police immediately upon it happening to let them know I allowed it so that will be all good. Just can’t see myself sticking around long enough where it gets to the point that I’m so short tempered and crotchety and cranky that I storm out of Ethel’s 88th birthday party at the local bingo hall and slash her tires because she was sitting in my favorite chair. That’s not the life for me.

Incredible story though. Glad these old timers decided to stick it out long enough to see themselves involved in a bingo hall dispute so large it was covered by the national media. Also Ethel has got to be the most senile old broad in the world if we’re being honest. Ohhh woe is me whyyy is this happening “I thought everybody was my friend” “I didn’t know I had any enemies” “I didn’t know that chair meant so much to him.” Bitch you’re 88 years old. Fred is 82. There is literally and I mean literally nothing else in the world at that point worth caring about more than your seat at the weekly Bingo game.