Old Men Yell At Clouds: What We Missed On Today's Cousins Episode

The Cousins are back five days a week at 9:00 a.m. EDT Monday through Friday on SiriusXM85. I’ll be hosting Mondays and Fridays and Smitty and Trent will be trading off weeks hosting on Tuesdays through Thursdays. 

No one on earth preps more for 55 minutes of radio than Cousin Mike and Cousin Murray. Because we get to about 2% of the material they send in, here is your run down of the best things that they would have liked to yell about but didn’t have time (and maybe a few things they DID yell about but are funny anyway). 

Today we talked Cousin Balls $10k win in whispers (as Glenny was on the train) and had a funny mash up with #DaveyDayTraderGlobal as Dave thought that today was Cousin Mike’s birthday (it’s actually May 12th). It was a very funny exchange that made it to both feeds. See the clips below.

Here are some of the stories we prepped for and did not have time to get to.

WOMAN TAKES BAR EXAM WHILE IN LABOR

Pregnancy is brutal in the best of circumstances. Imagine having to take an exam while giving birth. Loyola University student Brianna Hill was taking the Bar Exam in her home when her water broke. She cleaned up, finished the first part of the exam, and then went to the hospital to give birth. She finished the second part of the exam the next day post-labor, breast feeding between breaks. Won’t find out if she passed until December. 

KEVIN BACON WRITES SONG ABOUT A GIANT SQUID

Kevin Bacon of Footloose fame has written on a song on the bodhrán, an Irish drum, about a giant squid. "I’m not good at it, it’s a real skill that I don’t really have. I wrote a song about a giant squid and once the band got together and started playing it, it ended up having a very Irish feel and I ended up playing bodhrán on that song." Bacon’s recorded with his brother for many years. 

FORMER NBA PLAYER NIKOLA PEKOVIC IS NOW (ALLEGEDLY) A DRUG LORD

Wild story out of Serbia. Pekovic played seven years for the Timberwolves, averaging a respectable 13 and 7, and today the Serb is considered a drug lord back in his home city of Belgrade. Dude made $73 million in lifetime NBA salary, and yet is now allegedly connected to the Serbian underworld and a big time mobster. What a turn. 

MAN STROLLS NEARLY A MILE WITH SEVERED HEAD OF WIFE

Nice news from India’s Barabanki, where Akhikesh Rawat argued with his wife, chopped off her head, and started walking towards the Jahangirabad police station carrying it when he was arrested. Not sure what the Cousins wanted to do with this story, but that headline is a doozy.

FRENCH FACTORY MASS PRODUCES INSECTS FOR FOOD

What’s for dinner? Bugs. Ÿnsect, a new French company, has constructed a factory that promises to produce 20,000 tons of insect protein per year, suitable for feeding livestock and even human beings. With the world going to hell, looks like we’ll all be eating centipede sammies before too long. What a delight.

DOLLAR GENERAL CREATING “UPSCALE” PRODUCTS FOR WEALTHIER SHOPPERS

Oh, Dollar General. Your one stop shop for birthday decorations designed to last less than six hours and munchies sold a day before their expiration date. Dollar General is now going upscale, targeting suburban middle class soccer moms, except everything will be around $5 instead of $1. Expect a lot of extremely cheap wines and overly sweet chocolate covered almonds.

Remember, every Monday and Friday, I’ll fill you in on the things that we don’t get to on radio, so you can get a deeper look into the mind of the man who made Dave Portnoy (and his best friend of 50 years and wife’s cousin Murray).