Guy Gets His Backpack Stolen At The Belmont Country Club With Just An Absurd List Of Contents

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Now that right there is how you do backpacks! Good lord is that an unreal list. Every time I see chicks with huge purses I always think that I couldn’t possibly find enough stuff to fill that and make lugging it around worthwhile. Well now I know that’s because I’m poor. That’s because I don’t have alligator skin passport holders, $700 notebooks, $4,000 worth of pens and a solid gold cigar cutter. Maybe if I worked a little harder and quit napping on the job (or at 7:30 PM, depending if we wanna go with facts or just make up stories because it’s a slow blog day) then I’d live a lavish life where all of my necessary day-to-day possessions didn’t fit in my front pocket. If I just kept my nose to the grindstone instead of the desk I could be rolling up to BCC with $8,000 in cash and not think “Hm, maybe I shouldn’t leave this on the seat and give my keys to this minimum wage worker.” Hell, I hide my Ray Bans every time I park my car. But that’s because I’m poor and having to spend an extra $200 on sunglasses means I can’t eat for the rest of the weekend.

 

 

 

h/t Zach