The Hummer Is BACK! Only This Time It's Completely Electric, Has 1,000 Horsepower, And Only Costs $112,000

You remember the Hummer, right? Arguably the most preposterous vehicle to ever be mass produced. It took up three lanes of traffic, got zero miles per gallon, and had "douchebag" engraved in the front grille. The Hummer died a very loud death in 2010 as everyone's brains turned back on as we realized we were killing the planet a little *too* quickly. Well, a decade later General Motors announced at the Super Bowl this year that it was coming back from the dead. It was an announcement for an announcement. Naturally, because of the pandemic, that announcement got pushed back to about an hour ago. And now we finally have our first look at their second, more environmentally thoughtful, crack at this behemoth. 

Per CNBC:

GM says the vehicle will deliver the performance of an exotic sports car, including zero to 60 mph in 3 seconds, as well as off-road capability “that’s second to none.” Plus, it will have fast charging of up to 100 miles of range in 10 minutes as well as a host of new technologies such as GM’s next-generation driver-assist system that allows hands-free driving on highways.

GM estimates the Hummer SUT will achieve more than 350 miles of electric range and estimated best-in-class 1,000 horsepower and 11,500 lb.-ft. of torque. That power will be generated by three separate motors within two of GM’s proprietary drive units to four-wheel-drive performance on-road and off-road.

“Short of being able to float or fly, I think it pretty much does everything else,” Aldred said jokingly. “It is like the perfect vehicle. It has something for every type of buyer.”

0-60 in three seconds for a truck that large is preposterous. The power of ONE THOUSAND horses? Good Lord. The Jeep Trackhawk, which is essentially a Hellcat SUV, only has 707 hp. Three hundred additional horses in your electric engine? Absurd. 350 miles of range is more than enough for an electric super-truck. By comparison, Ford's attempt to crack into the electric truck market - the Mustang Mach-E - only runs up about 300 miles of range on its standard model. I think a lot of people want to move towards electric vehicles but their biggest hold up is charging time while out on the road. Sure, you can plug it in overnight at home and be good every morning. But if you're trying to travel any amount of distance you don't want to wait forever for a half tank of battery, if there's even a place to charge out in the wild in the first place. So Hummer claiming to put 100 miles back in your car in 10 minutes feels like it will push other manufacturers to keep up with the times. 

All of that is well and good. Hummer took a long look in the mirror, tried to figure out what was great about their old self and what needed improvement. The whole "not murdering our only, current, inhabitable planet" thing appears to have been at the top of their checklist. Seems like a step in the right direction. The *puts on glasses to double check the window sticker, slowly removes glasses* $112,600 price tag? GM said they're going for the luxury audience, I get it. This truck isn't a rival to attempt to steal the F-150 buyers of the world. It's aimed directly at Elon Musk's Cybertruck. Tesla currently owns the electric space, and now everyone else is gunning for pieces of his pie. This Hummer undoubtedly looks much better than the widely clowned and criticized Cybertruck, but does it look $30,000 better? If you've got that kind of scratch to toss around, that's probably not something you're too worried about. For everyone else who doesn't have a spare college tuition laying around, I could see that being a factor. 

Hummer's price will drop. By 2022 it will come down to a mere $99,000. By 2024, there will be versions for as "cheap" as $79,000. Goddamn do I feel like a big ol' fucking poor right now reading these prices. But hey, if that's in your budget, you're going to want top of the line. Everything GM is boasting about this new generation of Hummer appears to be just that. Now it's time to see if America gives a fuck about the reinvention of a relic we thought was lost to the past.