Bill de Blasio Clown Nose Shirts Now On Sale
Undoubtedly the most important piece of merch I've ever put on sale. We've done all sorts of shirts and all sorts of clothes over the years. Some are funny. Some are comfy. Some look good. Some even are truly memorable and kind of immortalize an important saying or phrase. But they all pale in comparison to this beauty right here. Bill de Blasio gets the Clown Nose Treatment. Thats a shirt design I hold in VERY high regard. Only a very select people get the Clown Nose. They have gotta earn that level of disrespect. They've gotta deserve that red schnoz and that turquoise color. And Bill de Blasio has NO DOUBT achieved that status as the WOAT.
At the moment, its Mets fans who hate de Blasio with the fire of a thousand suns. I suppose in some sort of desperate, hopeless, last act of defiance, this lame duck asshole is attempting to block the sale of the Mets to Steve Cohen. He wont succeed, but just the mere attempt is enough to make us hate you for eternity. Its the only good thing that has happened to the Mets in my lifetime. Its the only thing that can save us from the misery that as been the last 3+ decades. Trying to stand in the way of that is like standing in the way of a starving animal and its food. We are going to EAT, and you cant stop us.
But the hate for de Blasio goes way beyond Mets fans. This is a shirt that any New Yorker can get behind. The Bill de Blasio clown nose shirt is one of the few things the entire city can rally around. Ordinarily we're always divided. In every situation. We're usually by our sports allegiances…but not today. Sometimes we're divided by our age…but not this time. You'd THINK when it comes to a mayor, we'd be divided by political beliefs. That half the people would like him and his policy, and half-or-so would support him. But alas, this is Bill de Blasio we're are talking about here. A man who has done such an impressively bad job, he's done the impossible - Bill de Blasio has made literally everybody hate him. Every. Single. Person. This is not hyperbole. This is not an exaggeration - I have truly never heard anybody say they like Bill de Blasio. Not ONE. Ive never heard "I like de Blasio." I've never heard "I think de Blasio has done a good job." I never even heard "I don't mind de Blasio." Certainly no love. Or support. Or approval. But not even indifference! Its active dislike for this man. From the motherfucking MOMENT he took office and ate pizza with a knife and fork…
…we knew he couldnt be trusted. And lets not forget the fact that his real name is Warren Wilhelm, Jr. Yea thats right. Bill de Blasio is actually Warren Wilhelm. Shady as fuck, man. Wants to be one of these AYE! OH! Bada Bing, Bada Boom! New Yorkers. Billy D! Dont forget the vowel at the end of my name! When in reality hes fucking Warren Wilhelm the cake eater. Gimme a break. Cant trust that guy as far as he can throw a Groundhog (More on that in a moment)
Mets fans hate him now, but Yankee fans have been hating him, Immediately despised him when they found out he's a Red Sox fans:
And the whole city united as one and declared "FUCK BILL De BLASIO!" when he murdered Staten Island Chuck, our Groundhog's Day 'hog.
On a real note, hes truly the most disliked public figure I've ever seen in my time at Barstool. For the first 5+ years I wasthe Barstool New York blogger, covering this city day in and day out from every angle. For the second half of my career, I've broadened my coverage to nationwide and all things global. And I truly mean it when I say its hard to remember another person who drew the ire of the public quite like this. Every single type of person, from all walks of life, with differing opinions on virtually everything, united by one commonality - hating Bill de Blasio. Its kind of poetic and uplifting in a "Hey, Fuck You!" sorta way. The most stereotypically New York thing possible…we all just hate your guts.
So, from the Mets fans who hate anybody and everybody trying to stand in the way of their happiness all the way down to the groundhog advocates who simply want Staten Island Chuck's death to not be in vain, get your de Blasio clown nose shirts now.