Michael Bay's New Movie Is About Coronavirus Lasting For FOUR MORE YEARS And I Think I'd Rather Swallow All The Steak Knives In My House

Remember back in March when the pandemic broke and everyone on the planet thought they were the smartest motherfucker alive because they posted some screenshot of a movie like "Contagion" and compared it to a real life pandemic? Well, Michael Bay decided to take it one step further and make yet another movie about a pandemic. And I just want to know who, the fuck, was asking for this? The absolute last thing I want to watch is a pandemic movie right now. Or ever again, the rest of my life, I'll never want to remember or watch anything that so much as utters the word "pandemic." 

"Tensions rise as we enter the 213th week of lockdown." 

YEAH, NO SHIT, PAL! Tensions were rising in MAY. The entire summer all we posted was videos of "the tensions." Suffice to say that if we're still stuck in this shit by 2024 "the tensions" will not be able to rise any higher. There's no way we have enough gas in the tank for "the tensions" to be quelled until week 213. To be honest I don't even think the trailer looks terrible for a post-2010 Michael Bay movie, but I don't care about the quality. This could be the new "Godfather" and I wont go anywhere near this or anything remotely close to this concept. That's right, I'm talking to you, new NBC sitcom "Connecting" about this very same topic. Feed me content about anything and everything that has precisely nothing to do with this pandemic and I'll watch it. I'm giving you 99.9% of the rest of the known and unknown universe to work with here, feels like a pretty fair trade off in my opinion.