Sixers President Chris Heck Thinks The Word "Philly" Is Lazy - Hey Chris, Suck My Dick
Sixers President Chris Heck, ladies and gentlemen. Not to be hyperbolic, but this is the most out of touch shit I've ever heard in my lifetime. As per the Sixers Innovation Lab (wtf does that mean?) website, Chris Heck is listed as overseeing marketing and branding for the team. And as his master stroke of branding Chris Heck has decided to throw the term "Philly" in the trash.
Chris, a brief message from all of "Philly"; suck my dick.
"We actually don't use the term "Philly" because we think it's lazy and undersells the city, and sometimes I think "blue collar" does the same thing. We refer to it as New Philadelphia."
Seriously, what the FUCK are you talking about? What is this classist shitstorm you're wafting up from *checks Innovation Lab website* WILMINGTON, DELAWARE? Heck is trying to squeeze out the middle class of fans, wringing the 700 Level out of the Wells Fargo Center until it's Oracle Arena after the Warriors third championship.
How exactly is classifying someone or somewhere as "blue collar" an undersell? And who is the "we" that refers to it as New Philadelphia?
How breathtakingly arrogant, to think that as a marketing director you're colloquially going to rename a city. All so Chris Heck can jack up ticket prices and shed the bucolic image so he can market to the superrich casuals who don't give a fuck about the team or the city. A move so transparent that even a lazy Philly mind like mine could sniff it out.
"Blue Collar's important to the city, but it's not the only component. New Philadelphia is about the arts, it's about the culture, it's about education, it's about diversity."
Wait, so the arts, culture, education, diversity, those are all a different category than blue collar? What are we trying to say here Chris? Can the arts not be blue collar? Is there no education involved in being blue collar? Is there no blue collar culture or diversity?
Chris Heck once again exposed himself as equating "blue collar" with being "uneducated." Intellects only at Chris Heck's New Philadelphia basketball contests. What's that you say? You went to seven years of trade school? Sorry you uneducated fuckstick, no room for you here, but there's probably a couple junkies wrestling over some suboxone under the El, maybe that would be more to your liking?
What they must not have taught Chris Heck in his business classes at Villanova is the fact that the arts and culture of Philly are completely blue collar. Philly's finest cultural offering, the movie Rocky, is an all-time tale of blue collar triumph. But is Rocky Balboa getting into a New Philadelphia game? Not until he proves he knows more about Matisse the painter than Matisse the hooper.
Bruce Springsteen resonates in Philly because he tells the working man's story. I'm pretty sure that Meek Mill and Lil Uzi Vert didn't grow up in Gladwyne. In Philly, young aspiring artists live in blue collar neighborhoods because the lifestyle doesn't offer any other options, not to mention the fact that creating art is blue collar work in itself.
To Chris Heck and all the other fake woke elitists co-signing this bullshit mindset, New Philadelphia is about appreciating arts and culture from afar but never mingling with the peasants who create it. He's one to marvel at the architecture of a magnificent building, then spit on the workers who built it.
Well my eyes are open. Any time I see Phila emblazoned on some Sixers gear I will forever associate it with the candy-ass, highfalutin, New Philadelphian cake-eater, Chris Heck.