What's The Fastest Way To Dispel The Rumors That You Are A 70 Year Old Grandfather? Do Karate With Your Girlfriend, Duh

Thursday.

Sunday

*Sniff, Sniff*

Smell that? Stinks right? Well guys, that’s because it’s the smell of desperation. Hey look I’m old and have man tits and everyone realizes I’m probably never going to be a good quarterback again, what’s the best way to change the narrative? How about I stand behind my smoking hot girlfriend and swing a broom stick around while she does some sword work. Ha! Nice try Aaron, maybe the rest of the internet was fooled. The twitter eggs saying how cool you look and how bad ass Olivia Munn is but not me, not this brain. You’ve gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to pull one over on the Big Cat (I usually get up around 7:45/8 am). This is Desperation 101. I’m a Dubsmash on Olivia’s instagram page away from predicting a 12 win Bears season. Packers are officially on the ropes.

By the way, did anyone ever doubt that A-Rodg was a Donatello? Beat it nerd, the rest of us are trying to eat pizza, party, and stare at April’s ass.

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