Introducing The New King Of the Beach

kingofbeach

Introducing The New King of the Beach

Listen I know everybody is back to work today so you probably don’t want to hear about beach games. At least most people are back at work, but somehow our office convinced me today was still a Holiday even though it clearly isn’t. Feilteberg is probably blacked out in an alley somewhere in Newport which tends to be his custom, but I digress. Anyway I’m not the type of guy to brag. I’m just a humble dude from humble roots. But god damn if I’m not the greatest beach sports player in the history of beaches. Keep in mind beaches have been around for a long motherfucking time. I mean every single game I dominate. Right now I’m 19-0 in Spikeball. Little kids are straight sprinting down the shoreline acting like they’ve seen a Great White, but it’s just Pageviews ripping people’s guts out in cold blood. So what is the point of this blog? Why did I write this if I don’t like bragging? Because I just thought it would be awkward if news of this massacre hit the mainland and you didn’t hear it from me first. That’s all. Just trying to keep people informed like always. That’s the oath I took when I started Barstool and continue to this day.