Fuck Yes: Mike McCarthy's Job Is Safe Because He Has "Accomplished A Lot"

I might pass out. I might literally pass out. Oxygen please, send oxygen to my quaint yet very overpriced New York City apartment. Because Stephen Jones just took my breath away with those quotes. Not only is he surprised someone would ask about Mike McCarthy's job, he went on to say that Mike McCarthy has "accomplished a lot"!!!!!!! 

This is just the best news I've heard in my life. And I love that there are McCarthy defenders (aka brainwashed Cowboys fans who will buy anything the Cowboys front office is selling) who will fight tooth and nail for him. "Dak got hurt!", "he's still implementing the system!", "it's not his fault the WRs aren't catching, the linebackers aren't tackling, and Zeke is averaging 3.9 yards a carry!". Give me alllll the excuses to keep him around, I can't get enough of it.

I'm not a Mike McCarthy hater because I have no reason to hate Mike McCarthy. I just think he's a bad coach, and the more Dallas loves him, the more I love him. I want him there forever. I saw how badly he ruined Aaron Rodger's prime, and I want him to ruin Dax's too. I want Zeke and his fat contract to completely go to waste. I want Amari Cooper to rue the day he decided to go to Dallas  "to win" instead of Washington. I love it all.

So hey, keep up the great work, Mike! And Stephen Jones, I fucking love you.