Luckiest Kid In The World Got Hit By A Car And Was In A Coma For The Entire Pandemic

Guardian - A teenager who is emerging from a 10-month long coma has no knowledge of the coronavirus pandemic despite having caught the disease twice.

Joseph Flavill, 19, was hit by a car while walking in Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire, on 1 March last year, three weeks before Britain’s first national lockdown began.

He has spent months in a coma after he suffered a traumatic brain injury but is slowly beginning to recover and has started responding.

His aunt, Sally Flavill Smith, told the Guardian: “He won’t know anything about the pandemic as he’s been asleep for 10 months. His awareness is starting to improve now but we just don’t know what he knows.

Look, I will never suggest it's a good thing to get hit by a car and get a traumatic brain injury…unless that means you can sleep through the last 10 months. I've never been more jealous of anyone in my life. You're telling me all I had to do was pull a Liz and I could have missed the entire lockdown, the entire election season, all the civil unrest, and somehow still not miss a single episode of Barstool Outdoors? Well then sign me the fuck up. 

Plus my goodness, how refreshing does 10 months of sleep sound? Don't have to feed yourself, wipe your ass, be put in awkward social situations, none of it. Just snoozing away while the world spins around you, nothing better than that. Wake up and your Apple stock is at an all time high, plus all the chicks that rejected you before now will give you sympathy head. Win-win-win.

Plus, not for nothing, he is recovering:

“We’ve still got a long journey ahead, but the steps he’s made in the last three weeks have been absolutely incredible,” said Flavill Smith.

Atta boy. Rooting for him, obviously. And if you're so inclined, you can read more about his journey and donate to his rehabilitation efforts here: