The 31 Year Old Founder Of Bumble Is The Newest Member Of The Billionaires Club

Boom. 31 years old. Billionaire. All on the backs of horny/lonely boys and girls everywhere who really just want to get laid. The American dream.

I feel like every tech billionaire boils down to one thing- sex. Facebook's origins? Mark was horny. Google? Gotta find porn somehow. And now Bumble joins the list.

Whitney Wolfe Herd (awesome name, by the way) launched Bumble when she was 24 years old. And now 7 years later it has gone public, and it went up 63% its opening day, cementing WWH as the newest billionaire, a self-made woman billionaire at the age of 31, no less!

And you know who she has to thank for this? John Henry Feitelberg. That's right. You see, Whitney was an executive in the early days of Tinder. Let's read some background on the Wikipedia:

Wolfe Herd became vice president of marketing for Tinder.[7][12] She was reportedly behind the name of the app, taking inspiration from the flame logo and the idea of tinder, which is easily combustible material used to start a fire.[15] She has also been credited with fueling its popularity on college campuses and growing its user base.

You know who really put Tinder on the map though? It was Feits. He did a blog where he said the best opening line on Tinder was "how many pushups can you do?" and this was when basically nobody knew what Tinder was. Nobody had it. I'm almost positive WWH would thank Feits for that blog and he is responsible for her becoming a billionaire today. Sure I'm slightly joking, but there is nobody better in this world at making other people rich than John, so there is some truth to it.

As for Bumble itself, apparently it works for hot people. Being an ugly, I can only access ugly people Bumble where they only show me other uglies. That's why I don't use it. I'm being serious about this- they have the algorithm set up so hot people see more hot people and ugly people see more ugly people. Imagine being hot? And just like, matching with hot babes who want to hook up? Whatever. Doubt they could write a blog, too busy having abs and holding a fish. They're probably jealous of me. Yeah. That's it.