American Hero Wears Shorts To Work To Combat The Sexist War On Air Conditioning

Wash Post – Men’s office attire needs to change. It doesn’t need to be more casual, or to be more formal. But it does need to be more flexible. Men typically wear the same business clothes all year round. The average guy in your office probably wears the exact same clothes in August and December — a dress shirt over an undershirt, tucked in to full-length slacks. Add a tie or sport-coat as needed. Lather, rinse and repeat. If you’re a man, you probably know how stifling and uncomfortable this outfit is. Particularly in the summer, when the mercury tops 90 degrees. And because modern office thermostats are set to accommodate male attire it means that women — wearing seasonally-appropriate clothes like skirts and dresses in the summer — are bringing blankets and snuggies to work to fight the cold.  Men are sweltering, women are freezing and everybody’s miserable. And in the midst of it, men, we’re waking up every day putting on the same khaki pants and tucking in the same long-sleeved shirts and dutifully trudging to work in quiet sweaty desperation, waiting for October to come. But no more. Yesterday, inspired by stories chronicling the madness of the modern office thermostat, I wore shorts to work. It was glorious. The hot swampy constricting morass of my morning commute was gone, in its place nothing but the transgressive thrill of a warm breeze ruffling my leg hair as I glided down L Street. At my desk, I was more comfortable than I’ve been in ages — no fidgeting with shirts coming untucked or socks falling down. Just airy, breezy well-ventilated bliss.  

I wore a lightweight linen button-down, sleeves rolled up. I wore it over an undershirt, because men’s dress shirts are sometimes transparent and reveal more than people want to see at the morning staff meeting. Crucially, I wore it untucked — better airflow and you can get away with this while wearing shorts. The right shorts are important. I wore some lightweight cotton chinos. Nothing fancy — I’m pretty sure my wife picked these up at Costco. But no board shorts. No running shorts. And absolutely, positively no cargo shorts. Finally, loafers for my feet. They’re the same shoes I normally wear to the office, except for this experiment I wore them without socks.

I’ve had a good time with this sexist air conditioner nonsense. Its been fun blogging about it and podcasting about it and taking shots at chicks. Making fun of girls is always fun. Its probably like the number 1 fun thing in life. And chicks sitting there babbling about science and carbon dioxide and discrimination because they’re children who can’t focus on work if they’re cold has been great material.

But lets be honest – this dude’s point was 100% the truth. The real INSANITY is that guys wear the same clothes year round. What in the FUCK is that about? The sentence “wear the same clothes in August and December” really makes it hit home. Why on EARTH is that the standard in the Cube Monkey world? Thats genuinely insane. The expectation that we’d wear the same clothes when its ten degrees or 110 degrees is like actually legit insane. Thats actually some brain dead caveman shit. Dont change the warmth of your clothes as the temperature outside changes? What the fuck? Women wear wool sweaters in the winter because its cold and sundresses and pencil skirts in the summer becuase its hot as dick. And yet for men its like “Dont adapt at all to the weather or your surroundings, person that is alive in 2015!” And why? Whats the reasoning? Because this is just the agreed upon standard for business attire. Well heres a fucking idea for all you dumb ass business lemmings – just agree to change the standard! Just agree that this dude in his shorts and linen shirt is just as capable of conducting business as the rest of the world dressed like a dick. You wanna argue about old school standards and manning up and professionalism and all that other shit, go ahead. But just realize you’re the dummy that thinks its reasonable to wear the same clothes in 95 degree as when its snowing out. Anybody who thinks THAT’S a good idea is a brain dead idiot who shouldnt be doing business.