Thanksgiving Travel Tip: If The TSA Won't Let You Bring Booze Into The Airport, You Can Drink Shots And Pass Around The Bottle While Waiting In Line

You...you can do that? I'm not sure what it is about airports, but I've always felt like it is one of the stricter places to have fun this side of church if you aren't in a Chilis or unbranded bar that charges $18 for a pint and a half of beer. They weigh your bag down to the ounce, grill your ID by doing that look up then look down move like 10 times, and herd you onto the plane based on zones even though nobody ever listens to them.

I get why TSA security is so tight because of that fuckhead Bin Laden. I actually appreciate that we are forced to take off our shoes, empty our pockets, and go through those weird x-ray machines that shows all our bits and pieces to a total stranger because I just want to arrive at my destination safely. And if you even DREAM of bringing so much as a drop of liquid through security, you better get ready for a full cavity search conducted with some rubber gloves.

Which is why I am so surprised to see that waiting in the TSA line can become a Margaritaville if you BYOB. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it. I LOVE it. I actually can't believe that the Wonton Don hasn't engaged in such hijinks in a YouTube video. Termies are cool, but TSA Bottle Parties are where the fun is really at. 

The TSA expects 20 million people to fly the friendly skies this weekend and I imagine there will be plenty of Stoolies partaking in that nightmare. So I wanted to let you guys know that you may want to bring a bottle of booze with you in case those security lines are extra long because you are apparently already cleared for take off on the Blackout Express as long as you don't go pass the metal detectors. Yeah that was an airplane pun, we like to have some fun around here.

P.S. I would actually be OK with it if you were only allowed to get wasted on the security line if you were going to/from the cities associated with drunken tomfoolery. Like you can't start slugging Malibu if you are headed to Des Moines. But if you are taking your talents to South Beach, Vegas, or Nawlins, you can get as fucked up as you want as long as you can stay on your feet.