The Giants Have Fired Jason Garrett, Proving That God May Actually Exist

Did the Giants actually do something right? Sure it may have been a week late, a year late, or should have never happened at all. But we no longer have to watch that same chickenshit, archaic offense that plays to none of the strengths of the players on the Giants. Maybe calling the worst play in the history of football was actually a good thing, because I don't know how Garrett could have kept his job after this came up in the film room.

Not only that, but the Giants already have a replacement with play calling experience.

Let Interim Freddie cook! I know he had one of the most embarrassing recent tenures as the head coach of the Browns, which is clearly saying something. But don't forget that when he took over playcalling duties, everyone was sucking his proverbial dick as a successful yet relatable offensive coordinator that was good enough to get promoted to head coach because of how Baker Mayfield looked under him.

I asked noted #Browns fan Jeff D. Lowe about Freddie last time I was at HQ and he said he was a solid coordinator during those last 8 games but changed everything about his style once he became coach, which I equate to Ben McAdoo changing his haircut. Freddie even called plays during last season's Browns game when Garrett got the rona and the Giants actually played like an offense that took some chances, even if Colt McCoy was playing QB.

It may not be much but it's a hell of a lot better than the moribund bullshit we had to watch the last 26 games. Yeah I used moribund in a sentence on Barstool, be cool about it.

Oh man, even the clapping gifs look better! What a weight has been lifted off this franchise and this fanbase. I know Jason Garrett played and coached for the Giants, but I refuse to recognize Once A Giant, Always A Giant for him. He’s a Cowboys double agent for life in my eyes. 

I could go into a whole rant about how John Mara should apologize for saddling us with Garrett the last two years or how stupid it was not doing this during the bye instead of on a short week before a division game. But it's nothing but positive vibes for the rest of the day! 

Unleash Danny Dimes. Unleash Saquon. Unleash Golladay and Yung Joka. UNLEASH EVERYBODY WHO LOOKED SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER UNDER PAT FUCKING SHURMUR OR ANOTHER TEAM AND BEAT THE GODDAMN EAGLES ON SUNDAY. This is a second lease on the season against a softer schedule than the first half and there may be more changes coming in the future.

I'm so happy for Daniel Jones, who threw for 24 TDs his rookie season. I'm so happy for all of us Giants fans, who were looking for the closest bridge to jump off of last night. But most of all, I'm so happy for Matthew Carroll and the entire Carroll family.

Meanwhile, Thanksgiving at the Garrett house is gonna be ROUGH.