Would You Drink Watered Down Bleach For $9 Million Dollars? Cracker Barrel Just Had To Pay A Tennessee Man That Much For Accidentally Serving It To Him

NBC - A Tennessee man was awarded more than $9 million after he was served cleaning liquid instead of water at a Marion County Cracker Barrel.

William Cronnon was dining at the restaurant in April 2014 for lunch when a waitress accidentally refilled his glass with a mixture of water and Eco-San, a commercial-grade bleach, according to a lawsuit and press release by Cronnon's attorney.

"Plaintiff William Cronnon ingested the beverage, which turned out to be a chemical, caustic substance known as Eco-San," an amended lawsuit reads. "As a direct and proximate result of the incident, Plaintiff William Cronnon sustained severe and permeant injuries which required medical attention."

Thomas Greer, Cronnon's attorney, said his client went to the emergency room for treatment, according to the press release. He developed gastrointestinal issues like regular cramping, bloating, diarrhea and reflux plain shortly after the incident.

Cronnon continues to suffer from those injuries, Greer said in a phone call on Tuesday.

The case went to trial where a jury awarded Cronnon compensatory damages totaling $4.3 million and punitive damages of $5 million.

For those of you wondering what the fuck a Cracker Barrel is, it's an "old country store" meets "old country restaurant". 

Think wood everything, rocking chairs, lots of biscuits, and lots of gravy. 

They have gift shops filled with a ton of shit that would only catch your eye if you've been traveling on the road for hours and your brain is fried. Conveniently, they're usually on highway road stops in the south and midwest.

The first time I'd ever been to one or heard the name was when I moved to Chicago for school my freshman year. Some friends of mine were dating girls at University of Iowa and took me for a road trip one weekend for an Iowa vs. Wisconsin game. 

Aside from blowing my mind and making me extremely regretful for not having gone to a Big 10 school with a football team, smoking hot chicks everywhere, and a shit ton of bars (18+ at the time), stopping at Cracker Barrel on the way there was a major highlight.

It felt like being in Old Sturbridge Village but with actually decent food. 

All the breakfast selections were solid, and they actually have really good fried chicken. (Only issue was it came with mashed potatoes and gravy.)

It was basically like eating at a high-end restaurant in England. 

Anyway, that's a little background on Cracker Barrel. As the GOAT Paul Harvey used to say, now for the rest of the story.

Listen, I'm not trying to sound like a hardo here whatsoever. And I feel terrible for William Cronnon if he actually is suffering from "gastrointestinal issues" for the rest of his life. 

But $9 million bucks for drinking some watered down Eco-San ain't too shabby.

We're not talking straight clorox here, which if you ingested, actually does way more damage to your lungs and tissue than anything 

we're talking watered-down, commercial-grade knock-off bleach. 

It's not Hawaiian Punch, no, but it's not gonna burn your throat out. 

That said, I think I'm drinking it if there's 9 million on the other end of violently vomiting and shitting my brains out and whatever else comes with it. 

Also, no offense to William Cronnon, but how the fuck do you take a sip of that and realize it's not water? For those gastro issues to be happening (allegedly) he definitely drank more than a sip, which means it couldn't have been that bad for him not to notice. 

And for this to happen at one lone, rural, franchised, Tennessee Cracker Barrel and the corporation to get smashed with a punishment like that is tough.

(Yah I know that's what liability insurance is for, but it was no doubt already sky high and now it'll be even higher.)

We're also talking about something that was an innocent mistake here. There was no malice behind the server pouring this guys glass with what she thought was water. 

Unless…

Nevermind. 

So yah, for $9 million I would drink bleach cut with water faster than a Q Anon'er listening to the President. 

The only issue is, can't do it in Tennessee, due to a tort cap law, and William Cronnon is about to find out the hard way.

According to NBC affiliate WRCB of Chattanooga, Cronnon will not get to keep the full amount awarded due to a state law that puts a cap on economic damages. Greer said the law is unfair and "only protects corporations, insurance companies and hurts people who are seriously injured."