The NFL Media Demanding an Apology to Tom Brady Over Deflategate is So Cute

A few years ago, there was a movement in Massachusetts to pardon the victims of the Salem Witch Hunt of 1692. It was actually debated for a while over the issue of whether or not it was legal to do so, since at the time of the trials the Commonwealth didn't exist and Salem was part of the then Massachusetts Bay Colony. Finally the people in charge of such things finally said "Fuck it" just passed the bill or whatever. "Fuck it" being exactly the words that should have been said as soon as the idea was floated, seeing as it came over 300 years too late. So a fat lot of good it did to the 19 people who remain every bit as hanged and that one poor bastard who was "pressed" under heavy stones for three days as his eyes and tongue popped out his head like a squeeze toy as he told his executioners, "More weight." But hey, good for them. They're finally off the hook and no longer have a criminal record in a state they were never citizens of. 

I bring this up because there's a weird part of human nature that compels us to want to correct the sins of the past, far beyond the point of our stupid, symbolic actions doing anyone any good. I mean, I can see the logic of giving a posthumous pardon to an innocent deceased person to give some comfort to their family. But as a general rule, I can't grasp burning the mental calories it takes to worrying about righting past wrongs. 

As hollow as such gestures are, they're an even bigger waste of time if you were one of the people in the buckled hat, with a torch in one hand and a pitchfork in the other, dragging some hapless, terrified servant girl off to the gallows on Proctor's Ledge. Which is metaphorically what we're seeing now ever since Pro Football Talk mentioned what everyone in New England has known for five years now. That in 2015, the NFL went looking for signs of witchcraft, and like every other witch hunt in this part of the country, they found it. 

Source - Beginning with the 2015 season, the NFL began conducting air-pressure spot-checks at halftime of games. The numbers were collected and protected, with none of the information ever coming to light. … 

So what happened to those numbers from the 2015 season? Per a source with knowledge of the situation, and as reported in Playmakers, the NFL expunged the numbers. It happened at the direct order, per the source, of NFL general counsel Jeff Pash.

Why would the league delete the numbers? It’s simple. For cold days, the numbers were too close to the actual numbers generated by the New England footballs at halftime of the playoff game against the Colts. Which means that the numbers generated at halftime of the January 2015 AFC Championship were not evidence of cheating, but of the normal operation of air pressure inside a rubber bladder when the temperature drops. 

I'll skip the snarky Captain Obvious references, because Mike Florio has largely been on the side of the angels on this whole fiasco. And instead I'll welcome him and everybody else who is finally coming around to the truth on this to the party. Including Dan Wetzel, who is now calling for Tom Brady to get the Ex Post Facto pardon:

Source - Just seven years ago, Goodell and the NFL were using media allies to brand Brady as a cheater, wrongly suspending him after a federal court battle, and eventually ending and hiding the results of an experiment that would have all but cleared him of wrongdoing. …

The propaganda campaign it waged against Brady was quite effective. No matter how many scientific studies, college lectures and documentaries …

Allow me to interrupt here and direct you once again to the definitive documentary:

have pointed toward not just Brady’s innocence, but the fact that the NFL never even proved the footballs in question were deflated, many fans still believe he’s a cheat. …

If Goodell wants to honor Tom Brady upon his retirement, then he should use Super Bowl week to apologize to him, admit the farce of Deflategate and try to help the league's greatest winner get a measure of his reputation back.

It’s never too late to do the right thing. Even for the NFL.

And to another national NFL media member, I say,

The Patriots and their fans have been fighting Hans Goodell and his band of terrorists since Day 1 of this. But it's good to have others coming around. Though I can't really say "It's never too late," since it is. The time to look at the simple facts and rudimentary physics has long since past. 

And the time to attack the league for not releasing the psi data that would've exonerated Brady was when they didn't release the psi data that would've exonerated Brady. That would've been a swell moment to turn the tables and expose a corrupt joke of an "investigation," and saved the GOAT's reputation while he was being mocked and ridiculed across the league and the country. Not waiting until after he's retired, the football equivalent of a dead witch. 

So forget the "I'm sorry." Spare us the insincere apology. That won't do Brady a damned bit of good. What would do some good  though, is giving the Patriots their fucking draft picks back. As well returning Mr. Kraft his million dollars. That's the beauty of confiscating someone's property under false pretenses. You can always give it back. Ginger Satan can tuck his fake apology all the way up underneath his pointed tail and return what he stole from this franchise. That at least would be justice. Anything less would be no more use than pardoning dead witches.