I Am A Superior Athlete To Steven Cheah

I am a superior athlete to Steven Cheah. Period.

I know, I know. That is a bold statement, but please hear me out. Sure, I may be on the heftier side and sure, I haven't done anything close to resembling athleticism since I was on the "Developmental" or C Team of FSU Rugby ten years ago and sure, I may have the long covid and am tired most of the day. However, I do have one ability that could make up for all of that: I know how to swim. I don't mean that I'm comfortable in a pool or don't mind going out into the ocean. I know how to swim and I enjoy swimming. 

A few years ago, when I had access to a pool at LA Fitness in Jacksonville, I would swim almost every day for an hour or until the geriatrics showed up for their water aerobics class. Even though their class didn't start until 7, they would show up as early as 6:30 and start to pull the ropes up or just stand in the lanes. They would stand in the pool, just far enough off the wall and just close enough to the rope to force us to slow down and basically walk around them. At that point, you're no longer swimming. It was frustrating for us swimmers, but those elderly people knew we couldn't do anything. They outnumbered us and even at their age, in the water, they were dangerous.

I digress. My point is, even though I'm not an athlete in any sense of the term, compared to someone who can't swim, I'm practically Michael Phelps! If you challenge me to a foot race, I'll concede. A bike race? Again, I'll bow out without bias. HOWEVER, add some water to that competition, and I don't care how fast you are on foot or bike. If you can't swim, I'm winning 100 times out of 100.

I'm not writing this blog just to brag about my swimming ability or put anyone else down for their inability to swim or even just merely tread water for more than 5 minutes...

Steven has since stated he is no longer accepting any further water treading challengers, which is fine.

Truthfully, I didn't even know treading water was a thing until high school physical fitness tests. I thought being able to float was something everyone could do and didn't realize that is just a natural skill I have. Because I do float, a simple treading water competition wouldn't be fair anyway. 

So, to prove that I am the superior athlete, I challenge Steven Cheah to a triathlon. 

Steven, if you accept, we face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.