Mark Zuckerberg Is Now Calling His Employees "Metamates"
(FORTUNE)
In the latest step in its rebranding process, the company formerly known as Facebook is changing the way it refers to its employees. On Tuesday, Mark Zuckerberg, Meta’s CEO announced that alongside some rewording of Facebook’s core values, employees will now be called “Metamates.”
I am sick to my fucking stomach reading this.
What a fucking asshole Mark Zuckerberg is. I mean we already knew that, but now he's gone too far. Calling employees "Metamates"? You fucking kidding me? This should have been outlawed in the Geneva Conventions. No genocide, no war crimes, and no cheeky fucking nicknames in the work place. If the assholes who signed that treaty had any ability of forethought, this would have been the first addendum.
Look, we all know corporate America fucking SUCKS. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. It's 40+ years of the same mundane shit day in and day out. Working for money instead of having money work for you. It's disgusting that that's how society has molded us; we're taught to go to school for 12 years, then taught to take out a mountain of debt to go to college, then taught to work for 40+ years paying off that debt while inching closer and closer to death with every breath we take. It's fucked up and should be criminal.
The worst part of corporate America isn't even the job itself a lot of the time. It's the same mundane bullshit that happens every single day.
…Asshole alarm clocks
…Asshole commutes
…Asshole coworkers
…Asshole bosses
…Asshole meetings
…Asshole tasks
…Asshole technology malfunctions
Assholes on assholes on assholes. Most normal people figure out a way to combat these assholes by doing just enough to keep them off their ass, but sometimes it's impossible. Like when your overzealous ass kiss of a coworker walks up to you at the coffeemaker and says, "hey Metamates, let's kick today's butt!" or something depraved like that. In my opinion, that should be grounds for execution on the spot. Just shut the fuck up and let me pour this tepid mud water into this styrofoam cup before I head back to my desk to fire off a few emails and watch funny YouTube videos in peace, asshole.
Office Space satirized all of this perfectly.
It's truly fucked up. I have the heebie jeebies just thinking of it. "Metamates"…. Yeah, fuck off. You're my goddamn coworker and I hate your fucking guts. I don't give a shit that we happen to be employed by the same assholes. Stop talking to me.
Zuckerberg should be sent to prison for this bullshit. It's a crime against humanity