BREAKING: The Senate Just Unanimously Passed A Bill To Make Daylight Savings Time Permanent

Look at U.S. politicians coming out of nowhere to pass a bill that the entire country can get behind, which is how you know something stinks when senators on both sides of the aisle can agree on something. Actually there are probably a sector of Youngs that are going to miss the fuck out of that extra hour of sleep in the fall during football/bulking season, I feel like the farmers have a legit grudge against Daylight Savings Time for some reason, and this Sus ass bitch probably fears all sorts of change.

But for the rest of us, the Daylight Savings Act Bill is an absolute win. Actually excuse me, "The Sunshine Protection Act", which makes a simple hour change on the clock seem scientific as hell. Think about all the benefits this bill instantly creates if The House gives the thumbs up:

1. More sunshine AKA more happiness at night.

2. No more remembering/forgetting/having to change your car clock, oven clock, bedroom clock. Set it and forget it for the rest of your life (If you drive to another time zone, that's a You problem).

3. And most importantly for Olds like myself, no more having to watch your kids get absolutely bamboozled by that 60 minutes of hell twice a year, which in turn completely fucks you up. That goes for when your maniac kid that usually wakes up at 6 AM during Daylight Savings Time is up at 5 AM on that ungodly day in the fall.

I know this country has been through a lot lately, but this may be the moment that unites these states and causes us to come back stronger than ever. NOW HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC!!!