Amy Schumer Tried (and Somehow Failed) to Get Zelensky to Join Her on the Oscars Telecast

Jemal Countess. Getty Images.

You can count me among those members of the movie going public who has always enjoyed The Academy Awards. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. Unlike my lovely cinephile Irish Rose, whose focus has always been the fashion and who loses interest once the red carpet preshow is over an the first couple of awards are given out, I've always been about the celebration of that great American art form: Film. In fact, Oscar winners is one of my favorite categories for "Jeopardy!" and bar trivia alike. And when they get a great host (and I'll fight anyone who doesn't agree that the David Letterman year was absolute peak)

Also like most Americans, my appreciation for the Awards is largely a thing of the past. According to analytics site Statista, 41.26 million people watched the telecast in 2010. By 2020 that number was down to 24 million. And last year fell off a cliff to less than 10 million. 

Everyone has their reasons. Covid shutting down the theaters for sure didn't help. Last year the site of all the star sitting there smiling and contented while being served by actual working people with mandatory masks strapped across their faces, was one visual a population frustrated by closed schools, small businesses going under, and life in a plexiglass fun house chose to turn off. Like the Delta variant only attacks hourly workers, while being up for Best Supporting Actress gives you natural nominee immunity. Clearly the viewing public has an appreciation for celebrity culture, but resented being told a worldwide microbe does too. 

Well that is a crisis the Academy is not taking lying down. They've taken decisive action. They're giving their once-loyal fans what they want. What they've been clamoring for. Dare I say, what they need, in order to put eyeballs back on screens: Amy Schumer. And in turn, Amy Schumer is trying to give Oscars fans what they want in order to stay engaged. 

International politics. 

Source - Amy Schumer isn't going to avoid current world events during her Oscar hosting duties.

The "Life & Beth" star is even trying to find a way to have Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky virtually attend the ceremony amid Russia's invasion of his country.

"I actually pitched, I wanted to find a way to have Zelensky satellite in or make a tape or something just because there are so many eyes on the Oscars," Schumer said during an appearance on "The Drew Barrymore Show," where she was promoting the 94th Academy Awards.

Schumer continued: "I think it's a great opportunity to at least comment on a couple of things. I have some jokes that kind of highlight the sort of current condition. I mean, there are so many awful things happening that it seems hard to focus on which one. ...

"I am not afraid to go there, but it's not me producing the Oscars," she said.

No, you are not, Amy Schumer! You are not afraid to go there! And that's what the the viewers want when they're tuning in to see how good Emma Stone looks, who's nominated for Best Sound Effects Editing, watch people pretend they're interested in the Best Short Subject Films, and see famous actors struggle reading the teleprompter during the Best Foreign Language category. They want war coverage. Escapist entertainment is so 20th century.

Not to mention what a great opportunity this would be for Volodymyr Zelensky. I'm sure he's on a tight schedule right now, what with a massive invading army attacking all his major cities and trying to topple his nation and all. But to be fair, he did find the time to address the UN and the United States Congress. If he can plead with them for humanitarian and military aid, why can't he set a little time aside to speak to Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence? Hell, he was the voice of Paddington Bear in the Ukranian version of the movie. What he probably wouldn't give to present the Best Animated Feature nominees! It'd only take a few minutes between all the shelling and directing his troops. To borrow an old Academy Awards cliche', it's an honor just to nominated to read the nominees. Plus I bet he’d wear the shit out of an Armani tux, if he wasn’t stuck in the olive drab tee of a man under siege.

Besides, if there's one thing we the viewers can't get enough of, it's stars at award shows who "go there." Give me more multi-millionaires with privileged lives lecturing me about social justice with a fortune in Blood Diamonds around their exquisite necks. Give me that sweet, sweet carbon footprint talk from Leo DiCaprio before he hops a private jet to a superyacht in the Mediterranean  packed with lingerie models. And above all else, teach me about those complex international crises that only Oscar telecasts can educate me on. 

On second thought, never mind. I'll be catching up on "Justified." Have a great show though.