The Oscars! A Live Blog (Yes, An Actual Live Blog)

You might think that Barstool Live Blogs are a bit, but if you followed my coverage last year(you probably didn't because nobody cares about the oscars) then you know I really do this shit. I'm publishing at the start of the live broadcast since a bunch are off camera. 

As a note, if you followed any of the leadup to the awards(you probably didn't) then you know a bunch of awards were shifted to being off-air in the interest of time. Apparently ABC was not happy with the runtime and thought that technical awards were the reason nobody is turning in. Yea….. Anyway, here are the big off-air winners. 

BEST SOUND: Dune

This was a no brainer. Whatever  you want to say about Dune, it is undeniable that it was an AV treat. Watching this movie in a theater felt like being transported into another world and a lot of that had to do with the sound design. 

Best Editing: DUNE 

Again, kind of a no brainer. No movie comes close to bringing you into different worlds across different scenes like Dune does. Something weird about this, though, is that I don't see how you nominate Joe Walker for his execution of Denis Villeneuve's vision, but you don't even nominate Villeneuve for best director….

Best Production Design: DUNE 

AGAIN….. A no brainer. Art direction is so unbelievably important in world-building and the work done in Dune helped established the sprawling scope of their universe. 

Best Original Score: DUNE 

Zimmer has made so many incredibly good soundtracks but I just don't think Dune is one of them. The fact that this is his first win since The Lion King in 1994 is a fucking travesty because he has had so many better soundtracks over the years. I guess the issue here is that there wasn't any other standouts this year. 

Makeup & Hairstyling: In the Eyes of Tammy Faye 

Another pretty obvious choice. I mean, look at that gif. THAT'S JESSICA CHASTAIN, ONE OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE A-LISTERS IN THE GAME. Incredible work by that crew in a pretty good movie. 

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Ariana DeBose

This is extremely well deserved for many reasons. Not only did she crush the acting side of her performance but she was also insanely good at the musical, song & dance aspects. She may have been able to perform the roles every other nominee for the award had, but they could never do what she did in West Side Story. 

Best Cinematography: DUNE 

Yet another no-brainer. No movie managed to do more in using scope than Dune. That make's it a 5x winner at this point which is almost depressing since it isn't going to win much outside of the technical awards. 

Best Animated Movie: Encanto 

Personally, I think the Mitchells vs the Machines was more impressive. HOWEVER, Encanto had music. Mitchells didn't and the animation quality is a wash so it makes sense. So it's understandable. 

Best Supporting Actor: Troy Kotsur

CODA was one of the best movies of the year and Troy Kotsur was the primary reason for that. He easily gave the most impressive performance in this category and is more than worthy of the award. Shotuout to both this movie and Sound of Metal for being two of the best movies of the last two years and giving great exposure to both the deaf and CODA  communities. 

Best International Movie: Drive My car

 This was the frontrunner all along and for good reason. It is a powerhouse drama that crushes the aspects of friendship, grief and more. The Worst Person in the World is the only movie that would have even come close. 

"Cheer Moment": Zack Snyder's Justice League 

This got a ton of laughs and for good reason. Primarily, nobody gives a fuck about that scene.

AMY SCHUMER STOLE JOKES 

This may surpise you, but it looks like Amy Schumer + her team may have stolen another joke. I thought her set was actually pretty good, but one of her biggest jokes was literally this tweet word for word.

Best Original Screenplay: Kenneth Branagh(Belfast) 

Belfast was such a good movie it's crazy. It is easily the best thing that Branagh has ever been a part of which is crazy to say since he is 8 time nominee. I think it worked because it was such a personal story for him and it just showed on screen. It felt real! It was relatable even though nobody reading this grew up in 60's Ireland. Great work from Kenny 

Best Adapted Screenplay: Sian Hader(CODA)

Like I mentioned with the Kotsur win, CODA rocked. The drama was relatable for those who shouldn't relate to it and that is a credit to her as a writer .

Fan Favorite Awards: ARMY OF THE DEAD 

This whole award was laugh out loud funny. Beyond Army of the Dead, which was not a good mvoie, winning, Minamata being nominated was hilarious. NOBODY watched that movie but imageboard psychos either convinced enough people or bought enough clickfarms to get it on the board because they wanted Johnny Depp involved. 

WILL SMITH SLAPPED CHRIS ROCK IN THE FACE???? 

I'm pretty sure Will Smith just actually punched Chris Rock in the face???? Like, if it was a bit, would he have very clearly said "KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH" after? Probably not… 

OH YEA IT WAS VERY REAL 

Ok apparently Jada Pinkett Smith has alopecia, which would explain why Smith took offense to the GI Jane joke. I highly doubt Chris Rock knew that and going on stage to slap the fuck out of someone is still psychotic regardless of that insult, but now it makes more sense. 

Best Director: Jane Campion(Power of the Dog)

Power of the Dog is far from the best movie of the year. That said, Campion did direct the fuck out of that movie. It was gorgeous and beautifully put together, and probably the best rendition of that story that was possible. 

Best Actor: Will Smith(King Richard)

This was….very weird. He was the clear winner in my mind from the word go without a doubt. But the whole slap of Chris Rock made things a little weird. Anyway, he has been an icon of cinema for so long and I'm happy he won his first Oscar. He gave a very emotional speech and he was very clearly kind of in weird spot. 

Best Actress: Jessica Chastain(In the Eyes of Tammy Faye)

Chastain was transformative in this role without a doubt. But I also feel that both Nicole Kidman and Kristen Stewart were better. Honestly, this is the biggest surprise of the night outside of Will Smith slapping someone on national TV.

Best Picture: CODA

This was a very pleasant surprise for both me and every other fan of this movie. The Power Of the Dog had ALL the momentum going into tonight(unfortunately) but luckily one of my favorite(and in my opinion one of the objectively best) movies of the year won. JUSTICE!!!!!!

Well, goodnight everybody. Lesson of the night? Don't disrespect Jada Pinkett Smith or you'll get weak slap in the face and a tongue lashing on national TV. We're recording the pod now so be sure to check out a full recap of the chaos tomorrow morning.