Good News: Doctors Believe They May Have A Cure For Premature Ejaculation! Bad News: It Requires Zapping Your Dick With Electricity For A Half Hour!

Giphy Images.

Daily Mail- Zapping the penis could combat premature ejaculation, doctors claim. One man who underwent the therapy was able to last roughly seven times longer in bed. He underwent the treatment, which involved getting electrodes stuck onto his penis for 30 minutes at a time, three times a week. Doctors in Lebanon, who treated the unidentified man, say he ejaculated within 40 seconds before seeking help. But six months after completing the treatment, he was able to pleasure his girlfriend for almost five minutes before climaxing.  

Sorry nerds, time to go back to the drawing board! As someone that has more than occasionally popped off too quickly in the bedroom, I respect this team of brainiacs trying to fix a problem that impacts a ton of guys in multiple ways. The shame of eating your proverbial fortune cookie while your partner goes to bed unfed along with the absolute bummer that comes with the most glorious feeling on the planet ending wayyyyyyy too quickly no matter how many baseball lineups you recite in your head.

However, electricity is one of those things nobody fucks with, literally and figuratively. In addition to my utter sexual inadequacy, I am also completely unhandy in all things around the house. If it wasn't for my killer charm and exquisite long eyelashes, there is no chance I would've found a girlfriend let alone a wife. I have called on countless favors from family members and friends who know their way around a hammer and nail to help fix stuff around the house, with them always willing to lend a hand no matter what as long as they don't have to mess with the electric. Plumbing, painting, and general carpentry? Fine. But once electricity is involved, every single one of them will tell you to make a call to the bullpen to bring the pros in.

Which is why I simply refuse to start pumping electricity through my dick in the name of lasting longer in Pound Town, even if it's apparently not a crazy amount of juice being pumped into you to stop you from pumping your own juice out.

It had a frequency of 20 Hz, a pulse width of 200 μs and the wave was set between 20 mA and 60 mA. For comparison, patients who receive deep brain stimulation for Parkinson's are exposed to more than 100 Hz. Medics did not say whether the treatment was painful, but studies on similar devices said they can be used 'without discomfort'. 

As I've learned walking the treadmill in my long awaited return to the gym, a half hour doing something you don't like feels like it takes forever and seeing things like Hz and amps always scares me, whether it's in regard to shocking my dick or simply picking up a light bulb at Home Depot.

I mean I get that doing this "therapy" isn't like sticking my dick into the nearest electrical outlet. Yet these doctors not saying if the treatment was painful is a redder flag than anything flying in China these days. I'll gladly stick with using some Roman Swipes by going to getroman.com/dogwalk to keep my lady happy while also supporting the fellas that I have dog walked in multiple drafts recently.

Blogger's Note: Look at Company Man Clem promoting the homies AND a sponsor to end the blog. I am a much better employee than I am a lover, which is something I have no problem admitting.