The Creator of "Dilbert" Unleashed An All-Time Twitter Thread Detailing The Vast Amount Of Crime And Sickness He Has Totally Endured In His Life

Scott Adams. A name nobody knows. However, he is the creator of the comic strip "Dilbert"...a comic strip I think people know? Maybe? I actually don't have a solid grasp on if people still really know what comic strips are. Like sure you have your Garfield and you have your Peanuts, but do people still open up the newspaper and scan the funnies? Do they still make "Cathy" and "Beetle Bailey"? 

But anyway I guess Scott Adams made a bazillion dollars off of Dilbert and is now a crazy person. But not for nothing, yesterday's Twitter rant is why Twitter is the best. I hadn't heard the name Dilbert in at least a decade, and now Scott Adams will live in my head rent free for the rest of time. Nevermind the above tweet, casually saying he's had a gun pointed at his head 5 times, he also sent out the following tweets:

I don't know which is my favorite! 

Car stereo being stolen 4 times? Maybe, but we can do better. 

He's had $50,000 or more stolen from him "5-7 times" is amazing, but I guess if he's a rich lunatic and easily taken advantage of it isn't too surprising? I could see him giving $1,000,000 to the Church of Scientology or something culty like that, no questions asked.

The real winner though? We already know. "Number of incurable health issues I cured in myself: 3". DING DING DING! This multi-talented motherfucker writes Dilbert by day and cures AIDS by night. Amazing! I would love, no…I NEED to know what 3 "incurable" health issues he has cured, and how. And why isn't he selling these cures to the pharmas for billions of dollars?!?!? Keeping these treatments a secret is literally killing our children, Scott!

This tiny little tweet thread will vanish into the wind like everything else on Twitter (aka it's all fake and nothing matters), but any time I see a Dilbert reference, all I'll be able to think about is him having a gun pointed at his head while curing Malaria and various other diseases. No wonder Elon wants to buy it.