77-Year-Old Arrested for Brawling With His 84-Year-Old Friend Over Golf Etiquette

Source - An argument between two men on the green at The Villages over golf etiquette led to one of them facing a battery charge, according to Sumter County deputies.

Richard Randell, 77, entered a not guilty plea for his alleged crime against his 84-year-old friend. ... [T]he incident happened between the two golfers on April 29 at De La Vista Golf Course. ... 

Around the fourth hole, [a witness] said the two began arguing, which was something they reportedly did often.

The affidavit said the friend told Randell – who was standing on the green near the hole — to move, to which Randell replied, saying he knew the etiquette of the game.

They continued to argue, the report stated, and the friend reportedly flipped off Randell. Randell then approached his friend and reportedly said, "do that again, and I will hit you," the affidavit stated.

The friend flipped him off again and that's when Randell reportedly punched the man in the face, and the friend fell to the ground.

You'll get no overdone, played out, Florida Man cliches out of me. Not on this story. Not when it comes to Richard Randell. Because if anything, this septuagenarian warrior is a hero. Someone who'll stand up for a just cause. And prove that right makes might.

 As a general rule, I try to advocate non-violence. I might not have invented the phrase "Use your words," but I like to believe I've perfected its use. That said, I'm not Gandhi over here. Jesus might have said if someone slaps your cheek, you must turn to offer him the other one. But after four slaps, we've run out of cheeks to give. There are limits to passive resistance. And things that are worth fighting for. Golf etiquette is just such a campaign. A hill I'm willing to die on. 

How can anyone interested in what is right in this unjust world not stand by Randell's side in this battle? After all, it's not like anyone got suckered. He gave fair warning. Knock off the shenanigans or you'll be spittin' bloody dentures. And the other guy kept it up. So what's a golfer to do?

That 84-year-old punk was went on that green asking for trouble, and trouble found him. Randell didn't live through the assassinations of the 1960s and Vietnam and the bad acid at Woodstock just to take guff from some Greatest Generation puke in 2022. You don't stand in another man's line and flip him the Freedom Rocket lest you're looking to drop the Footjoy glove and the Ping putter and throw down. And by golly, Richard Randell gave him the what fer. He introduced this wisenheimer to Simon (left fist) and Garfunkel (right fist) and they played beautiful music on that old geezer's face. They taught him what "The Sound of Silence" is as they knocked him cold. 

And while he's teaching lessons about golf etiquette, I hope it doesn't end with standing in your line. As far as I'm concerned, Randell would be doing the golf world a favor if he dispensed a little Shillelagh Law on guys who aren't ready to hit when it's their turn, talk on their phones, don't repair their ball marks, plumb bob their 60-footers while they're lying 8, lie about their scores. I've got a whole laundry list of golf etiquette breaches I'd love to see cleaned up. I'm just not the man Randell is. And we are all forever in his debt. 

P.S. I think every guy reading this who has asshole friends knows as well as I do that these guys will be back on the course together within days. The fact they're always beefing like this sounds like at least half of my friendships. Just because you can't stand a guy doesn't mean you don't love him. #FreeRichardRandell