"I got tears. They're multiplying."... Olivia Newton-John Passed Away

This week I had 3 run-ins with the movie Grease.  I was watching some old Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes, and I saw the one where Larry goes to a middle school production of Grease with Jeff’s exterminator, played by Chris Farley’s younger brother. 

Then I woke up on Saturday and found my 12-year-old daughter was watching the 1978 film Grease... I made her turn it off.  It wasn’t for the language, because my little angel is unfortunately privy to a LOT of collateral profanity living with me.  So much so, she started a SWEAR JAR, where I get charged a buck a curse... And she is as draconian in policing my payments as Teddy KGB was with Mike in Rounders. 

The cursing isn’t the issue.  My issue was with Rizzo, played by a young slutty Stockard Channing.  My recollection is fuzzy, but I seem to recall Rizzo falling into a deep funk after getting pregnant by Kenickie post-hand jive…

"Condoms are for squares!"

… And she didn’t snap out of it until she miscarried right before the closing dance celebration at the school carnival.  

"No baby!!!"

Perhaps that's not how it happened exactly, but I still don’t need that kind of shit around my baby girl.

I bring it up because they say- "All things come in threes"… And the third Grease-related experience I had this week was the news yesterday that Olivia Newton-John passed away at the age of 73.

"Teach me Scientology, Danny!"

I know this news does not resonate with most of the Barstool audience. Still, I was 7 or 8 when Grease first came out, and (unlike the aforementioned slutty Rizzo) Olivia's turn as Sandy Olsson defined the term "girl next door"… A title that used to represent beautiful innocence but now gets pinned to actresses and singers who will inevitably have Pete Davidson's filthy fingers jammed inside of them.

And for people who don't like all this talk about "natural innocence", Olivia leaves behind one child… A daughter named Chloe Lattanzi who is probably in younger wheelhouses…

Condolences to Chloe and the rest of Olivia's family.

Rest in peace, Sandy… And take a report.

-Large