Today In The Bullshit State: New York Has Banned The Sale Of Whipped Cream To Anyone Under The Age Of 21

Times Union- Be prepared to show your ID at the grocery checkout if you want to buy whipped cream in a canister. In New York, the popular dessert topping has joined alcohol and tobacco products on the list of items age-restricted for purchase to those 21 and older, and proof of age is now required at the point of sale.

The chargers that propel whipped cream through a canister nozzle are filled with nitrous oxide gas, which can be inhaled to produce a high. The inhalant has long been a popular recreational drug – called "whippets" – among teenagers due to the availability of whipped cream canisters at grocery and convenience stores.

I'm sorry but what the fuck are we even doing anymore? I've been reading about the pussification of this country/world for as long as I can remember. But I never thought we would ban the purchase of WHIPPED CREAM because some kids like to fuck their brain up a bit. Not to go full Old Man on you guys, but if you are old enough to fight in a war, you are old enough to buy cream for your dessert without having to get Cool Whip. That simple.

Don't get me wrong, I love Cool Whip. I think it is a fine treat to dollop on your slice of pie during Thanksgiving (or maybe sneak a spoonful of if you are down a bit in life). But there is something special about unloading way too much whipped cream onto your cake/ice cream as that glorious sound flows out of the container before topping yourself off with a little treat.

Robbing the youth of being able to purchase that simple joy of life is robbing them of the pursuit of happiness, which last I checked was part of the Big 3 things our forefathers declared as unalienable rights back when they were being ruled by the British with the same iron fist that our government seems to be slamming down on us.  Besides, the kids that want to do whippets are going to do whatever is necessary to get something to do whippets with whether you make them show ID or not. No need to punish the rest of the world because of a few punks looking for cheap thrills.

The only bright spot in all this is that I learned searching Whipped Cream on the Barstool blogging site is chock full of incredible gifs that strike a cord with something primal inside of me.

That last gif is for all the Captain America fans out there. My dog Tony Stark would never!

P.S. I noticed the sign at the top of the blog is at a Stewart's. Next time you are getting yourself a can of whipped cream, make sure to get some Adirondack Bear Paw. It's an ELITE ice cream that I should've bought while I was in Saratoga this weekend but I was too hungover on Sunday to do it.

P.P.S. For more accurate takes about sweets, check out my appearance on this week's Dog Walk where we complete our snack draft trilogy with the sweet snack draft.