Everybody Panic: Somehow, Someway The Backyard Brawl Is Reportedly Out Of Beer

I don't know how this happens. You are hosting the Backyard Brawl. You know how much West Virginia drinks, right? I mean, what's next? Couches go missing? Something is on fire? This is West Virginia. They fucking drink. That should be their state motto. Then you have Pittsburgh. I grew up in Pennsylvania. The fine people in the western part of the state also like their beer. Not to mention - IT'S THE BACKYARD BRAWL. 

You can't run out of beer. Anyone who has ever thrown the smallest party knows there's one rule. Buy enough beer that you don' run out. But then I realized what the problem is. This isn't called Heinz Field anymore. You never heard of Heinz Field running out of beer. They would have plenty of beer for everyone there. 

We're not even through the start of week 1 and we've had two stadiums run out of beer. One in Ireland (seemed impossible) and the Backyard Brawl. Nothing is right in the world. There's a serious glitch if those are the two spots running out of beer. 

At least this sounds right