Every Fantasy Football League's Draft Order Should Be Determined By A Draft Combine Of Drinking Games For Now On

Finally a group of fantasy players that just get it. Whoever gets the first pick shouldn't be determined by whoever sucked the most the previous season or the fates of the lottery gods by which name gets picked out of a hat. It should be by whoever wants it more and/or sucks the least at the most important things in life with your boys outside of fantasy football, which is this glorious collection of games. 

- Foot races are the measure of the true athletes when you are starting out elementary school where the fastest kid was immediately look at as the best athlete in their grade.

- The QB of the football team is the king of the social caste system in high school because that sport runs our damn country.

- Beer pong and flip cup are the center of your universe when you are a subhuman consuming as much beer as your body/GPA will allow you to (Beer pong is the better game for a small group that loves to talk shit while flip cup is the much better party game for a big group, especially a coed party. Beer pong is Madden while flip cup is Mario Kart).

- And cornhole is the king when you want to compete yet still drink an obnoxious amount of booze from your 20s until you become the washed person falling asleep during summer BBQs.

The only problem with this system is that the video of it came out after 99% of fantasy drafts were done. I would love to be able to draft the night before the fantasy football season begins to avoid the devastating preseason injury to one of my players (shout out JK Dobbins last year) or some trade out of nowhere that fucks everything up (still hasn't happened this year but I have Darren Waller to the Packers as the leader in the clubhouse right now even though these things usually come out of thin air). 

You can also make a case that auction drafts should have taken over snake drafts by now since the mouth breathers of your league shouldn't get dibs on Jonathan Taylor just because they don't know dick about fantasy football. But that's another blog for another time. For anybody with a snake draft, here are your cheat sheets from Steven Cheah of the Barstool Fantasy Football Factory podcast where you can get all your answers for your league and blame Cheah if he gets ANYTHING wrong.

Anyway, bravo to Bryce Casual and his league for inspiring countless other fantasy leagues to do the same next year, which will no doubt lead to some sort of incredible video of a washed up loser like me tearing his ACL in the 40 yard dash because he NEEDS to get Saquon Barkley on his fantasy team that I will happily blog since this company was built on the misery of total strangers.

Speaking of which, I had to include the old school Barstool combine video from a simpler time here at the Stool, no matter how much my boy KFC wants it deleted from the internet.