Lighten the Fuck Up! Lipstick on a Pig? The Farmer Was About to Become a Big Fan...
A redneck farmer decided to buy some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the local vet, who suggested he use artificial insemination, like a lot of pig farmers in the area do…
The farmer didn't have a clue what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he simply responded, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they're pregnant, they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up, assuming that artificial insemination meant he had to impregnate those pigs himself…
So, that night he loaded the four females onto his truck, drove deep into the woods, and had sex with each of them. Then he brought them back to the farm and went to sleep…
The next morning he woke up and checked on the pigs…
Since they were all still standing, he concluded that his first attempt had failed. So, that night, he loaded them back onto the truck, drove into the woods, had sex with each of them again, brought them back to the farm, and then went to sleep…
The next morning he woke up, checked the pigs, and they were all still standing. "One more time," he told himself, "and all those pigs will be pregnant…"
That night he loaded the pigs back onto the truck, drove into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to sleep…
The next morning, he woke up exhausted and couldn't even get out of bed. He asked his wife to check on the pigs and see if they were "lying down and wallowing in the mud"…
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck except one, and she's sitting in front honking the horn!"
*Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!)
This is LTFU Joke #120!
There's no better way to 'Lighten the Fuck Up' than doing it wearing a "Meme'd to Death" camo tee! (on sale now!)