Lighten the Fuck Up! With an Outstanding Warrant & His Crazy Ex-Wife's Dead Body in His Trunk, Frankie Decided to Outrun the Cops...

Frankie was going 90 MPH on a state highway that had a posted speed limit of 65 when he saw the flashing lights of a state police cruiser in his rearview mirror…

He thought for a moment about the outstanding warrant for his arrest, his crazy ex-wife's dead body in his trunk, and decided to punch it and try and outrun the cops.

He hit 95, then100, and with the cops still in hot pursuit, he buried it and hit 120 MPH… 

With the cruiser still on his tail, Frankie figured the cops ran his plate and weren't giving up on the chase, so he slowed down, pulled over into the breakdown lane, and prepared to surrender.

As the officer cautiously approached the vehicle, Frankie rolled down his window and placed his hands on the steering wheel where they could easily be seen, realizing he was gonna be cuffed and arrested…

"You were going pretty fast, Sir," the Trooper said as he stood beside the open window. "I'm not sure why you're in such a big hurry, but it's the end of my shift, and tonight my friends are coming over to play poker and drink beer, so I'll give you one chance to explain why you were going so fast. Make it convincing, and I might let you go with just a warning…"

Using all the sincerity he could muster, Frankie replied, "Officer, about a year ago, my wife left me for a State Trooper. That crazy bitch leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me, and when I saw your lights in my rearview mirror, I panicked. Call it PTSD, but I thought you were bringing the crazy bitch back…"

The officer shook his head in disbelief. He thought he had heard it all, but never anything even close to that…  

He looked Frankie in the eyes, paused for a moment, and said, "You have a nice day, Sir…"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

*Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!)

This is LTFU Joke #121!

September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, and whether you buy a tee, cap, or sticker, you'll be showing your support for Prostate Cancer Research and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Barstool Sports will be donating 100% of the net proceeds to Dana-Farber. One in six men will be affected by prostate cancer. Chances are you know somebody who has it… 

Thanks in advance for your support!