Pussy (Vagina) Flavored Potato Chips: On Sale Now!

Fellas, we have a fucking problem. According to recent studies, millennials are having 3 times less sex than our parents were having at our age. We're being out fucked by boomers. What's the problem guys? Not horny enough? Is Barstool Sports not posting enough Smokeshows? If that's the problem, then I sincerely apologize. I'll schedule a meeting with Dave Portnoy about it.

Luckily, a Lithuanian company by the name of CHAZZ has a solution - Pussy flavored potato chips. 

You might see these and think that this company CHAZZ is doing a funny bit. "Let's release a pussy flavored snack, that will surely go viral and get us some attention."

I'm sure that's kind of what they're doing, but CHAZZ has a mission beyond going viral. A mission to end the world's sex drought. CHAZZ's company website details what they hope to accomplish with this sexy snack.

1) Chips with unique taste FOR BRAVE and FREE people. After tasting it, you will remember your wildest love adventures, your first real love, and maybe even lose your oral virginity…

2) A great GIFT for the one you love, cause to initiate a romantic evening, or just simple delight for your taste buds and fun chat about sex;

3) Perfect WAY to test you friends’ courage, openness, and sense of humour.

P.S. For girls and women: if this or previous year you were pleased by someone, it is very likely that you have directly contributed to the creation of this taste. - CHAZZ Chips

Everyone knows that the best part of sex is the taste. 

Let's hope this is only the beginning. Why stop at pussy chips? What about an ass dip to go along with them? Maybe a penis pie for dessert. I'm sure Barstool would get behind a taint flavored seltzer. Titty milk is already a powerhouse in the beverage industry but we can try to break into the market. 

Unfortunately, CHAZZ only ships their vagina chips within Europe. So us sexually frustrated Americans will have to find another way to boost our libidos. 

But in all seriousness, is there any planet where this would actually work? Is there any way they get the flavor right? It's hard to take seriously. CHAZZ recommends using them to kick off a romantic evening, but I can't imagining holding a bag of pussy flavored potato chips and doing anything other than laugh. Props to CHAZZ for putting their best foot forward, but I'm afraid the world's sex problems can't be solved with a bag of snacks.