We Need To Talk About The Price Of Underwear

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Buckle up, we need to talk about the price of underwear. Specifically men's underwear. 

Let's unpack how we got here to start. Saturday morning I had to take care of some oblo's (obligations). I needed a shirt and tie for a halloween costume and I needed underwear. I am not quite at my goal of 365 pairs of underwear and socks but every time I have a few nickels lying around I try to pick up a few packs while I can to increase the stock. I never do fully increase the stock because the next time I do laundry I toss a few old ones, knowing I just reloaded with brand new ones. 

Anyway, I  headed out early to a place I know has inventory of shirts and ties, and underwear and will be moderately priced. I headed to Kohl's. If you wanna shame Kohl's go ahead, but just remember Clem (maybe the most kind hearted guy) at Barstool has said "His house is built on Kohl's cash" when the topic came up on The Dozen. Kohl's is reliable, you know where shit is (big points in my book), and is always an easy experience. No one swarms me to help me like they do in Foot Locker looking for commission etc. Just let me take my nice walk if I have the time around the store grabbing things I say "I could use that." Or like Saturday when I was on a mission to accomplish my tasks and get back home early for a day of college football. They also ALWAYS have multiple people behind the counter ready to help you unlike those scumbags at CVS who refuse to do anything but self checkout.  I like my Kohl's shopping experience, a lot in fact. I stand with Kohl's.

So I'm making great time, I grab the shirt and tie in the variety of options, it's low priced which is great because I have no use for it after Halloween, and I head to the underwear section. (Side tangent- my boy Brian said he used to stop at Kohl's every Friday on the way down the shore and pick up a new pack of underwear for the weekend. Vet move). 

It was there when I realized we have an issue.

Underwear pricing has got out of control. 

Now I'm not cheap and I like to be one of the everybody eats guys, meaning if your rolling in it share it. I hit a fantasy league a few years back and bought lunch for the Pick'em staff. During Covid Yaks, I brought Caeser salad. Around the office, people get Christmas gifts. I'm not loaded but I share when I can and take care of people who help me. 

I also act practical. If i'm buying a black t shirt I need for something and theres an Armani Exchange shirt for $30 and a Kohl's brand for $15, I'm buying the Kohl's shirt. Again, if it's for a big night out and you know you'll be photographed, yeah splurge for the AX shirt. But if it's going to sit in the drawer and you're going to your buddy's house to watch the game, save the money. Practical decisions. I think more people need to think practically, for example just because you are in a club (likely with a hat on) with your friend(who gave you a life), you have to know ordering a $1500 bottle of liquor makes no sense when it retails for like $60, but then again it makes no sense you got to a position of power at a media company in the first place. 

I bring that up because I had absolutely no options to save money on underwear Saturday morning. 

Kohl's has all the brands at their disposal. Hanes, Jockey, Fruit of The Loom, usually some off brand you never heard of, and an athletic choice like Nike. I never once have cared which brand it is, just as long as it's boxer briefs. If they have the breathable ones that are sleeker instead of traditional cotton, I'm in.I also act practical and compare all the brands and see what's on sale and take that. Or I go biggest bang for your buck. If Jockey has a 6 pack for same price as Fruit Of The Loom has 4 pack, Jockey it is. I think if you ask most males they would say the same thing. I doubt underwear has a real preference. 

I picked up every brand and was astonished at the price. ASTONISHED. 

Here, let's play a game.

How much does this cost? 

Are you ready? 

Brace yourself…. 

$42! 

$42!!!

$42!!!!!

And they aren't the only ones!

Jockey 3 pack … $36, Fruit Of The Loom 5 pack …$38 

Of course the Fruit of the Loom is now on sale today, but I think you get my point. 

This is insane. $10-12 dollars for one pair each on average. What are we doing here? 

Am I the only one who noticed this? Have I been getting lucky with sales in the past and just now am feeling the impact? Am I expecting too much on underwear costs? 

All I know is this. Underwear prices are out of control and we need to have someone address these issues. Also at this rate , I will never get my 365 pairs. 

Ps - Give me boxer briefs or give me death