A Scathing Bill Cowher With His Pants Full Of Poop Whines About The Colts Hiring Jeff Saturday

I truly can't get enough of this. All around the NFL, analysts and coaches are beside themselves that Jeff Saturday was named Interim Head Coach of The Indianapolis Colts. The sanctity of football has been tarnished! What has this world come to!?

I feel like I've been giving this same take all week. I've said multiple times in regards to Jeff Saturday that, "It's not that deep." Jeff Saturday being hired by the Colts is not that big of a deal. Football isn't that important. If Jim Irsay wants to hire an under qualified coach because he likes the cut of his jib, then so be it. Football is just a silly little game, and everyone who takes it so seriously needs to get over themselves.

That's basically how I feel about the situation. However, because I am a professional, I will attempt to see both sides of this argument. As I said, to me, football is just a game. It's something that I enjoy watching in the fall, but at the end of the day, it's not that important. It's easy for me to say, "Calm the fuck down, Bill Cowher. It's not that serious." But that's might not be fair for me to say. To people like Bill Cowher, and Rex Ryan, football is that serious. Football is the most important thing in the world. And for those who do aspire to be a head coach, it takes a painstaking amount of work, and sacrifice in order to earn that opportunity. There's hundreds of coaches in the NFL right now who have been grinding for years as Defensive Assistants, Special Teams Coaches, Offensive Coordinators, etc., who would kill for an Interim Head Coaching opportunity. The financials back them up too. The average head coach makes around $6 million per year. That's nothing to sneeze at. With that much money on the line, I can understand how someone would be upset if that money is going to someone who hasn't put in the same about of time as so many others.

So, I get it. I get why people are so upset. This would never happen in any other profession right? A hospital would never hire a doctor who didn't finish medical school. A law firm would never hire a lawyer who hasn't passed the bar. A science lab would never hire a scientist who doesn't show up to the interview with a long white coat and a beaker. 

So why is it ok in the NFL? Here's what it all comes back to for me. This would never happen in another profession, because there are real consequences for hiring someone unqualified. An under qualified doctor could kill someone. An under qualified lawyer could ruin someones life. An under qualified scientist could blow up the lab (?). But if you take someone who doesn't know a lick of football, and put them as the head coach of an NFL team, the worst thing that is going to happen is that they lose a game. Sure, there's players out there who need a good coach to put them in the right position, so they can prove themselves and earn their next contract. But at the end of the day, nobody is going to die if the Colts have a shitty head coach. That's why it just doesn't matter. That's why people like Bill Cowher, and Rex Ryan need to scoop the big ol' dumps out of their pants, and get over it. They chose to work in this stupid, corrupt profession where people get hired due to nepotism and blatant favoritism. It's all about the connections and who you know. Jeff Saturday, albeit probably unknowingly, did what he had to do to put himself in a position to be considered for the job. Just because he didn't take the conventional route, doesn't necessarily mean he won't be good enough for the job.

I don't think they're giving Jeff Saturday enough credit either. He spent over a decade in the NFL. Multiple time all-pro. He won a Super Bowl. By all accounts he was always a leader in the locker room. He had a position as some sort of advisor for the Colts already. He's not as qualified as some, but to call it a disgrace to football seems a little extreme. 

Can you imagine how crazy things will get if Jeff Saturday rips off a couple of quick wins? What if he gets the Colts back into playoff contention? What if he just run the table, and wins every single game by 20 points. That would be incredible. I can't wait to see what Bill Cowher and Rex Ryan would have to say if Jeff Saturday turns the Colts around.