Tis The Season! Amazon Will Tip Your Delivery Driver $5 If You Simply Tell Your Alexa To "Thank My Driver"

Tom Williams. Getty Images.

Tech Crunch- Last year, an Amazon delivery driver said that the high volume of orders during holiday season “makes life hell.” This year, these contracted workers can get a $5 tip if their customer says, “Alexa, thank my driver.”

The new thank you feature is part of a promotion that Amazon says it’s running to celebrate its impending milestone of 15 billion packages delivered. If a driver is one of the first one million to receive a thank you, they get $5. The five drivers who receive the most thank yous will get a $10,000 bonus plus $10,000 donated to a charity of their choice.

Look at our benevolent overlord Jeff Bezos giving a little bit of love to the thousands of real life Saint Nicks absolutely grinding their dicks and lady dicks off to ensure all the gifts will be under our Christmas tree by December 25th. Actually I take that back. The big jolly fat man in the red suit only has to work his ass off for ONE NIGHT of the entire year while the working class people in the blue vests are schlepping packages every single morning, day, and night to the point I see roughly 100 Prime trucks in my neighborhood for every one UPS or FedEx truck. 

Of course the corporate skeptic in me was immediately waiting for the other shoe to drop. I figured this was all a ruse for Alexa to get a fresh set of commands and voices sent to it considering it is on pace to hemorrhage a cool $10 BILLION this year. However the article already threw the first turd into the good vibes punch bowl.

Meanwhile, news also broke today that Amazon is being sued by the DC Attorney General, seeking penalties for allegedly misleading consumers by using tips to cover couriers’ base pay.

“Nothing is more important to us than customer trust,” Amazon spokesperson Maria Boschetti said in a statement, per Bloomberg. “This lawsuit involves a practice we changed three years ago and is without merit. All of the customer tips at issue were already paid to drivers as part of a settlement last year with the FTC.”

Nonetheless, I already thanked my driver since he is the real MVP of Christmas season at the Casa de Clem (no offense JC), every birthday celebrated here, and to be honest is essentially the fifth member of the family and outranks me on the Clem family totem pole since he delivers 90% of the shit we need/use on a daily basis. So thanking him with the easiest thanks this side of Fortnite should be a breeze, no matter what nefarious reason Amazon uses your kindness for.

P.S. We used to mention it every year on Podfathers before it was sent to podcast heaven, but make sure to tip everyone that makes your year easier during the holidays. I'm not only talking about the Amazon driver who you sbut also the OG Amazon driver (AKA the mail person), the garbage man, if you are a parent whoever you ship your gremlins to now that remote learning is thankfully a thing of the past, and everyone else.

Also if you are a parent that happens to have an Alexa, use this hack to weaponize Santa since that's the real reason for the season.