A Sad Day: After Dating Numerous Of Smokes, Pete Davidson Finally Found True Love And Went Official On Instagram

First he came for Ariana Grande. Then he came for Cazzie David. Then he came (again) for Kate Beckinsale. Then he came (in front of a fireplace) for Kim Kardashian. Then he came (to a Knicks game) with Emily Ratajkowski. But this? This is where I draw the line. Pete Davidson has officially become Instagram official with Eli Manning, proving there's no one safe from his charm. 

Eli is our beloved doofus. He's our beloved 2-time Super Bowl MVP. He's our beloved little brother who is funnier than his older brother. I don't know how to feel seeing him parade around with Pete Davidson. I don't know how to feel about seeing them crack jokes about spooning: 

I refuse to believe this was any sort of skit by Eli. I choose to believe that this is just who Eli is. You ask him about a spoon he's going to think of soup. That's just the way that weird, beautiful man's brain works. Eli is 100% a small spoon by the way. Nothing wrong with that. But I can just see Eli all snuggled up dreaming of beating the Pats in the Super Bowl again. 

I don't even care if this is corny or anything. I find Eli funny. Always will. The dude is somehow getting better in retirement and is a star. I can't believe any non-Patriot fan doesn't love Eli with all their heart. 

That outfit looks comfy as shit. So congrats to Pete and Eli who now have their own Instagram page together. I now hate Pete Davidson for beating us to it. Eli reconsider and join the alliance with me and Clem.