The Old Leonardo DiCaprio is BACK, Baby! This time with a 23-Year-Old Rocket.

Michael Ostuni. Getty Images.

In a topsy turvy world of instability and relentless change, we all need something we can depend on. Without some sort of certainty, as William Butler Yeats put it in his poem Second Coming, "Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world."

And for a couple of generations of us, one thing we could count on whenever everything else descended into chaos, was Leonardo DiCaprio's sexual appetites. When all else would fail us, he'd be our rock. His penis was the North Star by which we could navigate, forever constant in the night sky. Specifically, his penis's interest in women under the age of 25. It's been immutable, like a law of physics:

And yet, all that was threatened not long ago when he reportedly had dropped his age requirement to date a 27 year old Bella Hadid:

Well I'm happy to report that short, national nightmare is over at long last. All is as it should be. The universe is back to making sense. Up is up once again. Down is down. The world can begin to spin on its axis once again.

Source - Leonardo DiCaprio, 48, enjoyed a cozy date with actress Victoria Lamas, 23, in Hollywood on Tuesday - following speculation he has been romancing supermodel Gigi Hadid, 27.

The Oscar-winner, who has carved out a reputation for never dating anyone over the age of 25 in recent years, was seen getting into a car with Victoria, who is the daughter of actor Lorenzo Lamas and was born two years after DiCaprio's iconic 1997 film Titanic was released. …

While a source close to the star insists the pair are not together, they sent tongues wagging as they both sat in the front of the vehicle together. Certainly, as a young 20something, Victoria more that fits the bill of Leo's preferred type.

OK, so there's a disclaimer from a "source close to the star" claiming there's nothing to this. (Yet.) That he prefers to take things slow. (Allegedly.) But who are we kidding? This is Leo we're talking about. King of Dating Women Too Young to Rent a Car. What are we supposed to think? They just decided to share an Uber? That they were deep into a conversation about White Lotus and continued it in the front seat together? Sorry, no sale. The phrase that applies here is "fits the bill of Leo's preferred type. Both in terms of her DOB and what she brings to the table:

So good for Leo. And good for Victoria. Frankly, good for all of us now that everything makes sense again. I know that together we are all going to have a long and happy 18 or so months together before her 25th birthday.