We Need To Stop Mocking One Of Nature's Most Amazing Creations: Big Men With Their Butt Cracks Hanging Out

Let me make something very clear: When a unit's ass crack is out it isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of power.

As a society we have been brainwashed into thinking everything related to the ass is funny. Farts, ass cracks, tongue punches, dingleberries. And while those things are definitely hilarious, a fat guy with his crack out should not be lumped into the same category.

We belittle and shame big men for their crack hanging out of their pants all the time on this here interwebs. "Oh, look at the fat guy with his poop shoot exposed for the entire world to see HA HA HA." My guy Reags did it this morning and I will not stand for it any longer.

But do we laugh at two grizzly bears battling over territory in the wilderness? Or how about two great white sharks exerting every ounce of power and fury on one another to see who is the rightful owner of a fresh whale carcass? 

No. Of course not. And this is no different. 

The ass crack is the natural ventilation system for units. The second a big man starts getting into something physical the ass crack comes out to cool down the engine. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that powerful machine is running at full steam. Sit back and enjoy nature's wonder.

Running, yard work, playing with the dog, carrying in the groceries…it doesn't matter what gets the unit's engine running at full bore what matters is that it doesn't overheat. The amount of power generated by a big man doing something physical should be studied and harnessed. We could probably solve all of the world's energy issues with a couple of shirtless dudes who weigh three bills a piece wrestling in a sterile environment. 

Ever had a fat dude sit in the back seat of your car during the winter? When they finally get out the back seat is so steamed up it looks like the rain forest. That is raw, unadulterated power being trapped back there. Not the greenhouse effect but the huskyhouse effect. One trip to the McDonalds and back could solve the drought crisis in California.

You see comedy. I see a hero.

So stop making fun of big men with their ass crack hanging out. You don't make fun of your laptop fan for cooling itself down or your home's AC for kicking on. Science is hard to comprehend and we have a tendency to belittle and fear things we don't understand. 

Crack kills? No no. Crack SAVES.