No, Im Not Fired (Yet.)

It's a Monday afternoon at Barstool HQ. Frank's yelling his head off. I can hear Bennet's loud ass from my desk. (Look who's talking). Dan, Tommy and Spidey are first to speak to me. But also I just got played when some guy came around HQ asking questions about Baseball. He didn't ask me. Like I'm not the baseball queen. Like I didn't win the 2022 World Series in November. Like I wasn't celebrating with the team and interviewing Alex Bregman at the celebration parade, yeah okay. Time's been moving at warp speed. I often feel like Neo in the gotdamn Matrix. (Except Im not sure if I took the red or blue pill.) 

The days all flow into each other.. plane. bus. plane. another club. another club. I spend more time in the air then I do on the ground. The office feels different in the winter. It's cold, everyone's a lil grumpy, and my bestie Dave is unfortunately not around. PENN has completely taken over the company and Im not sure what that means for anyone, no idea what it means for me. I was heartbroken for months, mourning the loss of my 'situation-ship'. But then I got back in contact with him recently, and even invited him and his friends to come onto THE TIKO TEN just recently. CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL EPISODE 33!

Might not be the best idea to have your "boo" come on the podcast with all his friends. His friends did not hold back, as they discussed golden showers, relationship advice, side chicks vs main chicks and much more. I wanted to get to know him better, but as I heard the tea flowing from his friends, I realized he can't be much different, after all this is the group he travels with, communicates with, and spends most of his time with. For me to think that he's the opposite of them, would be living in denial.

Regardless, the episode went smooth, and natural. I laughed the entire time, and I also learned a lot, which is why I love discussing topics with the opposite sex, we think so differently in so many aspects and it's pretty exposing and enlightening. We ended the podcast on a great note, grabbed some Five Guys with his boys, then separated from them and even went for a cute date night afterwards, drinking tequilas and playing arcade basketball at the local bar, Pinoeers, around the corner from Barstool HQ.

It ended as sweet as a fairytale, with us lovingly looking into each other eyes. Neither one wanting to say goodbye. Kissing a million times. Feeling like I could feel like this forever. Feeling like time had stopped, nothing really mattered in that moment. Eventually, I left in my Uber back to Brooklyn, he left back to Harlem and we promised to see each other soon.

That was three weeks ago and I haven't seen him since. Makes sense. I went to Miami for a bit. then to the Grammys for a bit. and got a bit busy when I arrived back. There's very little time for a personal life, is what Im understanding. and although I might want a relationship at the moment, a relationship might not want me. Where would I find the time to build a relationship when Im in a different city every other week? How can I even be upset at the fact I haven't seen 'Harlem' again, or really even spoken to him. In fact, I go to LA later this week for a No Jumper interview and to go create content backstage at Rolling Loud LA, the music festival. The week after that, I'm headed to SXSW, for the 2nd Annual Tiko Ten Live Podcast in Austin Texas. Where do I find the time to date? to build? to fall in love? Im falling in love with myself, my career, my dreams, my aspirations. I went to the Grammys and gained connections like you wouldn't believe. Usher, Jim Jones, Fivio Foreign, Combs family, DDG, Tyson Beckford, Chris Brown and so many more. Im finally getting out of my shy stage, and growing more confidence. Being part of Barstool definitely has helped me with that. Im slowing becoming the best version of myself, as I deal with growing pains. As I deal with trying to deal with paying rent at my overpriced NYC apartment, taking care of my Puerto Rican kitty cat Butta, fake friends using me for clout, the boy I like not prioritizing me, trying to make my parents happy, trying to make my boss happy, and also trying to stay my ass outta trouble. Which isn't the easiest thing to due to my smart mouth and hot temper. But Im getting better at keeping a lid on my ever changing emotions. The Bad news: Still no man, or new friends. The Good news: Im still not fired. Fuck it, I may have no editor, no assistant, no social person, no real work bonds. I might still be lonely. I might be paying for my own flights, I might still be not doing Rough and Rowdy yet. I might still get depressed every now and then and find it hard to get outta bed. I might still not be adjusted to this incredible and tough city, after almost 18 months living here. I might still not be satisfied. I might still smoke it away at times or even drown in tequila on certain nights. But I am still working, still fighting, still traveling, still hustling, still creating, still loving, still trusting, still with my dream job. Motherfucker, Im still here. and I'll be damned if I don't make it. I'll be muhfuckin damned. Signed Sincerely, #TheXFactor #GoStros